lonely

[LoneLioness]

I just got out of a cyber relationship thats left me emotionally devestated. I'd like to meet someone new, preferbaly in my area. I'm extremly shy, I have SA. I need someone who can accept me and my shyness as I am, I am also not looking for work right now because of my shyness and don't know if I ever plan to, so need someone thats ok with that. I also really need someone thats as inexperienced as I am, ie still a virgin in all ways. Most importantly someone who believes like I do that you should spend 90% or more of your time outside of work/school with your significant other. Please if someones out there that fits this contact me, I'm lonely and its hard not to email or call my ex.

[blueangel]

As do all things, this will pass. For now, let yourself mourn. Let others comfort you. And stay the hell away from your ex until your feelings are gone and your head is back in control.

 

(sometimes in the spur of the moment under all those emotions, people tend to do stupid things for love. Being under the influence of love is pretty close to being on a drug- nothing makes sense)

[LoneLioness]

As do all things, this will pass. For now, let yourself mourn. Let others comfort you. And stay the hell away from your ex until your feelings are gone and your head is back in control.

 

(sometimes in the spur of the moment under all those emotions, people tend to do stupid things for love. Being under the influence of love is pretty close to being on a drug- nothing makes sense)

 

It will take me nearly a year to get over him if I don't find someone else soon. I know because I had 2 previous cyber relationships and it took that long to get over them too. This one however hurts 100x more then those 2 ever did. In addition to that I'm almost 23. I wanted to be married by now. As for staying away from him, we play a game on the same server. It's extremly hard not to message him there when I see him sign on. I deleted him from my friends list, but I'm finding it hard not to check when he's online. Add to that that the reason we broke up was because of this other girl in the game, it hurts to see him and her signed in and know they're playing the game together. I have to have someone new to take my mind off of this or I'll go ballastic. As it is now I haven't eaten or slept in days, I just can't concentrate on anything and all food makes me naustous. The heartache is that bad.

[blueangel]

Creating space is the only way to get over it. "Out of sight, out of mind." Do what you must. This is the time for our mind to kick in. The heart can become silly and carried away.

 

It takes half the time you were with someone to get over them. Good luck. I solute you, soldier! (remember- love is a battlefield... great, now I have that song stuck in my head)

 

Love is like war

Easy to start

Hard to end

Impossible to forget

[sidehop]

I'm sorry about your brake up. I know you feel like you're the only person in the world alone but you should give yourself some time for yourself and find the happiness you want. You don't want to completely look for happiness in another person just because you feel alone.

 

We're all here for you to talk to No need to feel alone & be sad!

[Caldus]

I just got out of a cyber relationship thats left me emotionally devestated. I'd like to meet someone new, preferbaly in my area. I'm extremly shy, I have SA. I need someone who can accept me and my shyness as I am, I am also not looking for work right now because of my shyness and don't know if I ever plan to, so need someone thats ok with that. I also really need someone thats as inexperienced as I am, ie still a virgin in all ways. Most importantly someone who believes like I do that you should spend 90% or more of your time outside of work/school with your significant other. Please if someones out there that fits this contact me, I'm lonely and its hard not to email or call my ex.

 

It's time to work on your self-confidence. You're responsible for your own happiness.

[LoneLioness]

I'm not really looking for advice here, I just want to find someone. Theres no point in any advice because none of it will help, I know me and I know I need this to make things easier on me. If I have someone else to love I can be over him alot sooner.

[shes2smart]

Learning to love yourself will attract a better quality of people into your life. The way you're approaching it now is just asking for more trouble. Neediness and desperation tend to chase potential partners away, not attract them.

[Caldus]

Learning to love yourself will attract a better quality of people into your life. The way you're approaching it now is just asking for more trouble. Neediness and desperation tend to chase potential partners away, not attract them.

 

Well said.

[ShySoul]

I know you don't want advice, but you need to hear these things. This is an advice forum, not a dating site. We are only trying to help you. Please, don't be so quick to dismiss what we say. If you really want to feel better you should consider some of what we are saying.

 

Having someone to love, while something we all want, will not address the underlying problem. You are letting this shyness go to far. All you have had is cyber relationships, probably because you are to shy to talk to people in person. Yet, by there vary nature a cyber relationship can't give you the kind of close connection you are looking for. You say you want someone who will be around you 90% of the time, yet in a cyber realtionship they aren't around you at all, its all over a computer screen.

 

You also seem like you get too attached to people. You feel the need to have someone who loves you and you cling to who ever comes along. But because it is a cyber relationship it is almost certainly going to fail. You need to gain confidence in yourself. I can tell you have many great qualities about you. Be proud of these things and use them to better yourself. Do things you enjoy, hobbies that require you to be outside and not at a computer. Try getting a job or going to school. The more contact you have with people, the more comfortable you can feel around them.

 

Maybe you can go to a place just for people with social anxiety. You can talk to others who feel the way you do. You'll be able to relate to each other and that could form friendships and maybe even a real, in person relationship.

 

If you want to talk, feel free to write me. I can feel how rough of a time you are having. But don't let it get you down.