Guy losing interest? Please help

[airlee]

Before you started dating him was there a situation recently that you were not recovered from? Unfortunately you seem to be reacting to a brief dating situation meeting 3 times, as if a long term relationship ended. If you were intimate too soon, that's ok next time just take your time to get to know a someone.

 

Rely on trusted friends and family to speak your mind. Getting into post breakup wrangling serves you no purpose. In fact the more you try to reopen and rehash the more he will be glad he exited this.

 

No. And I mentioned above why I am reacting to this, not because I want him back or That I am lost without him. This has nothing to do with previous experience. I always have a good/ clear ending with previous relationships. And I am not re-opening to have another chance.... I am just simply closing this chapter as I am not the type of person who left things unsaid. I do block people but I always close whatever issue there’ was, And remember, I was the one who exited, as I was the one who stopped talking. His last message was.. “I’m going shopping any minute” and I didn’t even ask, that means he was Involving me with his day.. My point is, yes his responses were late, looks like he was slowly fading on me but he wasn’t really curving me either as he would ask questions back and would tell me what he was up to. I couldn’t bare the abrupt switch of behavior, from bombarding with text/calls to sporadic messages, to ghosting for hrs etc. that’s why I decided to stop talking. So it was ME that exited and that’s why I am not at peace because the decision was mine. (He obviously did a slow fading act) but is he really though? no day gone by without a message from him, he did say he’s finding it difficult to deal with covid19 but he said this to me when it was too late, so it could be this is the reason for him being less engaging or he was lying because he was online all the time whilst ignoring me! Either way; I wasn’t happy by the sudden changes of his communication/ behavior so I stopped. So I exited but i could’ve exit better.

 

And yes I asked friends/ people/ strangers to for advices and mostly have the same advice as you. “Not important as it’s only been over a month” yes we have only met 3x, we talked for 3 mos before we met and became virtual in just few weeks. Very short indeed. I wish I can tell you.. “ I don’t care and bothered as it’s only been that short period of time”

However, this is probably what you’re not understanding, I felt something I have never felt so quickly before (I actually said this to you on previous post) you’re right, it’s not long I know.. but I don’t have control on how I feel do I? It’s now almost 2 weeks that I ghosted him, I shouldn’t be thinking of him anymore, but he’s still in my head and you’re right, I am dealing it as if I’ve been this guy in a long relationship, well, I did not deal it that way just because I wanted to. I guess that’s not easy to understand, I am questioning myself.

 

But my feelings is not the point why I’m here on enotalone. First I was asking if he’s lost interest, I received input from you guys that he wasn’t, and see how things go, and be relax, now we figured he indeed lost his interest, so my next question was whether it’s right to send him a message saying “Because I was genuinely happy when we met, I think closure would be nice to have as we did have special moments, I know we are never going to work anyway but I wish you could’ve been upfront with your intentions/ when you’ve lost your interest to save me from getting more hurt. It was lovely to meet you. You take care! “ Will it be right to close what we had? Then block him. Yes he may not bothered but what will I lose if I send that? He will think, I am affected and hurt and I am for trusting/ believing him.

I think closing would help me move on.

 

I think I would really just appreciate an advice on what is right/wrong to do moving forward than questioning why I am feeling this way. Thank you

 

 

 

 

I

[Wiseman2]

Seems like you just want to have the last word because you feel angry and scorned. If you believe that is "closure", then it seems you'll do it to no avail anyway.

[Jibralta]

I felt something I have never felt so quickly before (I actually said this to you on previous post) you’re right, it’s not long I know.. but I don’t have control on how I feel do I? It’s now almost 2 weeks that I ghosted him, I shouldn’t be thinking of him anymore, but he’s still in my head and you’re right, I am dealing it as if I’ve been this guy in a long relationship, well, I did not deal it that way just because I wanted to. I guess that’s not easy to understand, I am questioning myself.

 

That's because you got brought up short in the middle of that euphoric phase. It's the worst. It's like an interrupted sneeze--or an interrupted orgasm, for that matter.

 

A similar thing happens when people break up from their rebound relationship. The sense of loss is usually disproportionate to what the situation actually warrants.

 

Point is, don't read too much into these feelings.

 

The text really isn't a big deal. It just feels like it is because your feelings are currently very intense.

 

I think you're better off not sending the text. But that's just me speaking retrospectively, after years of my own dating experiences.

 

This is your dating adventure, and your choice.

[Lambert]

I understand that you are the type of person that likes closure, buttoning things up, clearing the air, etc...

 

But one thing to keep in mind is.... that's you. Its not always going to be the same for the other person.

 

Falling fast is dangerous for this very reason, you don't really know who you are falling for. Its more your perception of the person, not the real person.

 

Its a huge rush to have some fairy tale romance claiming, "i never felt this way". And we use that as the reason we charged forward, but next time use that as a red flag to slow down and question why you feel this way. More than likely its not them, it's you.

 

Love takes time... like a flower to bloom. You cant really rush it. People that go by and bank on the rush, are the same people that leave when the rush wanes. Things that start with a bang, usually end with a fizzle.

 

It really doesn't matter who ended things, especially when you are still hurting and wanting more contact.

 

I think this experience highlights your need to stop having expectations of others and discipline yourself. Not that's there's anything, necessarily wrong with having expectations and rushing in EXCEPT when you get hurt..... you kind of did it to yourself.