Research -Who was dumped and is now being chased by their Ex

[quing]

Has anyone been dumped long term or short term and is now being chased by their Ex.

 

What were the so called reasons you were dumped?

At what point did your ex start chasing/calling/texting you?

What had you said or done before the tables started to turn?

What was the frequency of your contact with them before they started chasing you?

Had you tried no contact?

What were the first hints that they are showing interest again?

How long had it been since you had split up?

How much chasing had you done previously if any?

 

Sorry for all the questions but I am very curious about all this.

[Katie_xx]

if only he was chasing me! i got dumped but in no way am i getting chased! i wish!

[VultureFury]

1. I am pretty unsure of the reason when she first started chaseing me, but i am sure about the reasons why she broke up with me on tuesday of this week after we made up. -she is young and doesnt know what she wants -She lied about loving me- she felt that I have changed

2. After a fight we had last weeked and saying its over she started texting me 'hey you ok?' calling me frequently, over 12 times on my cell while i was sleeping, some I ignored. (Again we made up on monday and then had a small agrument that night, she was very silent that time and then broke up with me the follow day afterschool.....)

3. I told her how i felt, that I was sorry, what cause me to argue. I met up with her at lunch on monday and made everything up but suddendly i felt she was acting different when i met her afterschool

4. Not much contact, ignored some of her calls/texts, others i missed when i fell alseep. I did call her, left a voice mail, and texted her on sunday.

5.Yes I have and it work instantly... but now starting again....

6. Phone call, meeting up with me at lunch and after school, hugging, cuddling

7.hours long between last weekend and monday. now currently 3 days after she broke up with me tuesday saying her mind is made up...

8. Yesterday afterschool... (my emotions started showin.. nd one of her friends who talked to her started helping me)

 

Im sorry if some things feel out of place.. i feel like i should make my own post about what happened to me now...

I still love her.. but there is nothing i can do about it now... just wait until she realizes what shes gonna miss, move on and build a friendship out of a ended relationship....

Hope this helps you out

[lightn]

Has anyone been dumped long term or short term and is now being chased by their Ex.

 

What were the so called reasons you were dumped?

1. She said that she wanted to get a house, car, feeling pressured by her parents, has issues, does not know how to grow and that I AM ALWAYS AROUND.

At what point did your ex start chasing/calling/texting you?

2. Well she made a point in talking to me after 3 months in telling me about my truck incident and then she has made all the contact at work and then asking for favors from me.

 

What had you said or done before the tables started to turn?

3. I did not say anything. I just left her alone and ignored her

 

What was the frequency of your contact with them before they started chasing you?

4. Again it has been her for making the contact or if she is ignored she will make an excuse to talk to me.

Had you tried no contact?

5. Yes for 3 months of last year and now starting again.

 

What were the first hints that they are showing interest again?

6. WHen she made the contact, asking me doing favors and then asking me to lunch and also accepting my invite.

How long had it been since you had split up?

It has been 11 months.

 

How much chasing had you done previously if any?

I have not really. Now I am back in NC ever since she has returned the Bday card but however just last week she seeked me out and wanted to tell me about her dads court case. She acted like nothing every happened. Since there I have not talked to her and ignored her. However she has parked closer. Before it was 8 spaces now it is 5. I think she is manic depressive with the highs and lows.

[iamonlyhuman]

wow good thread, I tell you when my ex starts to chase me.haha....hey you can dream!!

[chai714]

What were the so called reasons you were dumped?

At what point did your ex start chasing/calling/texting you?

What had you said or done before the tables started to turn?

What was the frequency of your contact with them before they started chasing you?

Had you tried no contact?

What were the first hints that they are showing interest again?

How long had it been since you had split up?

How much chasing had you done previously if any?

 

Sorry for all the questions but I am very curious about all this.

 

I'm taking a different approach to answering your questions.

 

The quality of your relationship plays a big part of them wanting future contact with you. If you cheated on them or physically abused them, they're less likely to have future relations with you - just as any human would be hesistant to call you if they have bad feelings toward them.

 

Before the tables turn, you must (and them) be less emotional about being around the other person. NC does this - it helps you get a grip on your emotions so that you can think clearly and make better decisions.

 

Obviously, they won't chase unless you make them want you. You'll have to initiate communication down the line if they don't. It should be light, and focus on how you make them feel. Don't confess your undying love or wants, instead focus on their wants or desires. You provide as much emotional fulfillment to them over the phone, which in turn makes them want to talk to you more.

 

First hints they're showing interest again would be calling, emailing, and keeping in touch. Other hints would include reading their body language when/if you see them. This will tell you whether or not they're still attracted to you (which most likely they will be) unless you completely let yourself go (this is where during NC, self improvement plays in the picture).

 

It has been almost a year since my breakup, to answer your question.

 

I made the common mistakes of begging, pleading initially for a couple days. If you want to call that chasing, you can. I like to call it "chasing away." Getting them to want to come back involves chasing them some, and withdrawing some (to allow them to chase back). The whole process is one of seduction and what I call, "loving manipulation." As long as you have good intentions and your goal is love for both people, I see nothing wrong with using tactics to show them your love, and to get them to want to be with you.

[quing]

First class response as always chai714.

 

I think I have recently chased my long termer (the dumper) away by telling her I don't play 'friends' after relationships and telling her I did not want to call her when she practically pleaded with me to call her and keep in touch.

 

Real shame, I think I just got a bit over zealous in playing hard to get.

Oh well she can't ever accuse me to her friends of being too needy I guess.

[sidhat]

What were the so called reasons you were dumped?

 

Actually i was not dumped and become friend for benefits after breskup.

Not giving her much time, lack of intimacy, jealousy input by her, lack of communication. Start making alot of money and saved 100K in year and was thinking abt my future with her and when I came back to her i was too late. Cannot influence her, no spark in relationship.. took her as granted.. Shows stress and tentions near her.. doing alot of over time. and fights

 

At what point did your ex start chasing/calling/texting you?

 

After breakup we both chase each other and coming back in cold relationship..I came back becaude it was my mistake so I wanted to prove that I love her alot.

 

 

What had you said or done before the tables started to turn?

 

 

Dont know exactly. table didnt turn in my situation its totally fliped.

 

What was the frequency of your contact with them before they started chasing you?

 

It was like 100 mhz... very forcefully..trying to change alomost everything.

 

 

Had you tried no contact?

 

Yeah when she said I need a time and space for abt 3 weeks the she called me back and said I want to do workout.

 

What were the first hints that they are showing interest again? \

 

No intrest all are lies and flirting.

 

How long had it been since you had split up?

 

Finally we separated on 14 Feb 2005 (Valentine day) .. when I caught her cheating on me. Finally and confront her.

 

How much chasing had you done previously if any?

 

Alomst 8 months.

 

 

 

 

[/b]

[ron13]

well, i was the dumper and am now doing the chasing back-

 

reasons we broke up were circumstances, i.e. where we each want to live in the future - but mainly it was an unwillingness to compromise on my part. i think that because we broke up due to circumstances and not lack of feelings, that maybe we do have a chance to rekindle, at least i hope so.

 

after the initial breakup, there was lots of fighting, but we obviously kept in touch a little. she wanted me back then. once the fighting stopped and we didn't talk as much, then the tables turned and i wanted her back. we've always kept in some kind of touch though, we were best friends until i broke her heart.

 

she stopped fighting and arguing with me, thus causing me to stop fighting back. we became more civil, and my true feelings began to show onece again. when she stopped chasing/fighting, the tables turned.

 

we tried NC a few times, a few weeks here and there.

 

the first hints i gave her i was showing interest was an increase in niceness towards her, sent her flowers a couple times apologizing, attempts to hang out in small doses, etc. then i wrote her a long letter explaining my thoughts and feelings that i wanted her back if she was interested.

 

it has now been 6 months since we broke up, and i have been chasing her back down for the past month or so.

 

there wasn't a ton of chasing at the beginning of the relationship, as we just clicked immediately (dated for 14 months). i think she thinks she should have made me chase more, and she is making me do that more now, as well as protecting herself more.

 

why is it that humans

1. take special people for granted

2. don't realize how good we had it until we threw it away

3. think the grass may be greener

 

man, i'm such an idiot...

[msj1977]

Well my ex did not chase me when I was in the needy phase. During that time I think I got on her nerves. So, I stopped and then the calls came. She was with someone else just a week after we broke up. Really made me mad. Still, she continued to contact me and kept tabs on me through mutual friends. I got tired of her calling so I got pretty hateful pushing her away I was hoping I would. After about three weeks of pushing her away she cracked coming to me crying saying she loves me. When she did this I probably could have gotten back in with her at that time. What she wants is me to be there for her when she decides she is ready to come back. She has already told me this guy she is with was just a hasty decision and she does not see her self ending up with him.

 

I am just amazed that after all the hateful stuff she still wants me as a part of her life. I was hateful b/c I was not strong enough to not respond to her text messages and I was trying to push her away. However, today is the day. No more I am not ready to be friends with this girl. I also have to get her out of my system so when she decides to come back I wont take her back. I would be the worlds biggest fool. I am pretty sure this girl will cycle back around to me. It feels like a game, but it is a game I dont want to play. Thing is after a couple days of not returning her calls she is going to go nuts again asking me to come over etc. This is where my self restraint has to be the strongest. I will just have to think about her with that other guy it will make me mad and I wont go over. If I do I am an idiot. This girl is trying to play me like a fiddle. I really despise her for this. I want her to tell me she hates me and wants me out of her life. I just have to be strong and not respond so I can heal. Once I heal she knows I will be done with her. This she knows which is why she still pops up.