Birthday Blues...

[codaaurora]

I'll be turning 34 on May 18th. Scary. Worst though is that this is the first time in my life that I will be totally alone for my birthday. I was with my ex for 8 of those. Before that, I was with my family and friends back home in Virgina. While I have friends here, they are more acquaintance friends that wouldn't really be the type of friends that would plan to spend time with you on your birthday.

 

I'm actually very sad about this. I thought about going home but would rather be home for Christmas this year so am saving my money up for that. Which means that I will be alone for my birthday. I plan on getting something nice to eat and maybe a little cake and buying myself a camera lens that I've been wanting but.....Jeez, I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

 

I suppose I can call my friends and ask them if they want to do anything with me. I guess I could be proactive like that. But it would be just a filler to keep me from being alone. It wouldn't be like it has always been, waiting to see what kind of things that your loved ones have planned for you. Will there be flowers? Cake? Did he remember that CD I wanted? Where will we go for Dinner? Is he going to take me out this weekend? Now.....nothing. Nothing to really look forward to except getting older and being alone.

 

I guess what I need to do is just vent this out. Just come on here and get it out of my system. Maybe that's what I'll do. A little dooms day count down if you will.

 

[blueangel]

Smile. You're never alone and there's nothing wrong about being alone. Sometimes, it's good to have to face ourselves without distractions. All the people who hate themselves also have a ton of friends to escape from theirselves with.

 

I know this isnt what you were talking about, but even so, it can apply to everyone.

 

Enjoy yourself. Celebrate yourself. Uncover yourself.

 

It's not the worst thing in the world to realize that you're scared of being alone. Now it's time to turn that around.

 

And when I say you are in fact, in reality, never alone, i mean exactly this:

 

We don't realize how much we need God until he is all we have.

[keefy1972]

You still got a week and Im willing to bet K will ask you, again, about going to see that movie. Just wait and see.

 

L will be turning 34 on the 27th of this month and I am sure I wont be getting her anything for her birthday. I may text message "happy birthday" but that will be it. No card and definitely no gift. Look at it this way, you will be getting the same thing from me as the love of my life. Kind of funny, but it's true.

[iamonlyhuman]

Dont worry we are here, we will cheer you up on your birthday if you dont go anywhere, but on the otherhand I think you should go out with your mates and be 'proactive' thats all part of the healing i guess.

 

34 is nothing your lucky your not 94 haha.. nah attempting to crack a joke....

[codaaurora]

 

 

Atleast I'm still SEMI-young yes???

[annie24]

Yes, you are semi-young.

 

Anyways, I think you should plan something fun with your gfs. My 25th is coming up soon, I was thinking about spending the day at the salon, and then maybe going to dinner with a few friends. (I'm single, but the way.)

 

Just because you don't have a man doesn't mean your birthday can't be fun! In fact, I think it can be even MORE fun because you can go out with friends, and then maybe hit some bars/c0cktail lounges, and do some mingling with cute men.

 

I'll wish you a happy birthday next week!

 

No worries - you'll have fun if you try!!!

[smallworld]

Hey Codaaurora! Your first bday alone doesn't have to be a sad pathetic affair. It's what you make of it! If you can take the day off, take a trip!

 

When I lived in Seattle most of my friends were acquaintances too. My husband couldn't be in town due to a biz trip, so I thought "Why not make an adventure of my 28th?" I ended up heading south to Portland for a few days and then driving up the coast to Canada for the big day. Going to Canada meant a great deal to me (I was born there) and I used the trip as a form of "rebirth" to forgive myself for past mistakes and reclaim my right to just be happy.

 

I'd never traveled by myself before, so doing everything solo was an adventure. I met people I normally wouldn't have (Orchestra conductor, Mom with 7 foster kids, and an Ex special forces soldier) because I talked to strangers instead of keeping to myself. I took a lot of silly pictures of myself doing touristy things and I journaled my goals for the coming year. The best part of it all was I got to see and do everything on my list without compromise. So contrary to what most people might think such a trip would be like, it turned out to be one of the best vacations of my life! 8)

 

Decide on what you want to do and just do it. The crazier the idea the better! Run away from home! It's fun!

[codaaurora]

Everyone, thank you so much for your kind words, support, encouragement and ideas!

 

Unfortunately my birthday falls on a Wednesday this year so I can't take enough time off to go anywhere, but I was thinking of maybe taking a day trip up to Santa Barbara that weekend. I was also thinking of maybe going down to San Diego as I do have friends there.

 

I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. Either way, I'm sure I will be fine in the end. I'm strong and everyday is a new day.

[keefy1972]

You will be going to see the new star wars movie