Do I check up on him?

[figureitout23]

 

Figureitout, you mentioned about me not mentioning it to him but I should have clarified WHEN I mentioned it to him - it was the day I ended things yep...but obviously I wasn't gonna mention it within our 5th or 6th date as I've been out the dating game a while and genuinely thought (and sadly STILL think) that me and him were compatible and that the hastiness was maybe just feeling a certain way about someone you're starting to like. But, I don't wanna be stubborn, I can see how I wasn't 100% clear. I've beat myself up since the day I ended it telling myself I was cold and bitter but I told him it would be 10x worse being with him with all this in my head, hence why I had to open up as he deserved the truth - he thanked me for this.

 

I don't disagree that I need to work on my anxiety and that I'm selfish for thinking about rearranging my priorities as opposed to focusing on him but after almost 3 weeks of reflection I know there is grey between the lines

 

I'm not saying you are wrong for feeling things moved way too fast.

 

I think its quite obvious they were.

 

What Im saying is you cant change what you don't acknowledge and I think its beneficial for you to take some ownership here.

 

First off, your 'this is moving too fast' radar alerted when your issues with sex were triggered, according to your original post, and not before. So while "he was moving too fast" is a perfectly legitimate reason to speak up. You dumping him cold without proper communication wasn't about that. I am taking a stab in the dark and guessing that's what the ruminating is about...

 

I don't disagree that I need to work on my anxiety and that I'm selfish for thinking about rearranging my priorities as opposed to focusing on him

 

I can only speak for myself. I did not say this. You are not selfish for putting yourself first. I'm not really clear about what is meant about rearranging priorities, but again not what I stated. I stated what was selfish was that you didn't put your mental and emotional health first, you put dating first, and when you were triggered you acted accordingly.

 

This man is looking for someone to latch onto, thankfully it was not you, but it was only not you because your own issues kinda counteracted with his issues.