Having issues with someone asking for lifts and more

[jellybean2018]

Hi! I'm sorry if I came across as anything more than just asking - in a huge abundance of caution - to make sure you're being direct and firm. You are and also it sounds like you wouldn't necessarily go to the gym at that time, right? So her behavior is unacceptable, pushy and bizarre and on top of that I am sorry that you have to endure this particularly since you have anxiety. She is acting like a bully as Wiseman wrote.

 

Saying no is hard too, I know. Especially when the reason is that we need our self-care time, our me-time whatever-you-want-to-call-leave-me-alone-time -and of course you don't want to be with an emotional vampire.

 

I hate to be negative -but I think she'll leave you alone but not learn from it and move on to her next prey.

 

 

Yeah, she was there this morning. Normally people stop for coffee and today she just left. I feel like a bit nasty, as I have been kind of not replying to her messages then she didnt hang about.

 

However, she went from being really intense one way and making out I was doing something wrong, to wanting to be best of friends. It is too much of a head-f***. I just like things to be easy in friendships not so much hard work.

 

I feel bad, but it is what it is. It seems she maybe has got the message though. Hopefully it can be amicable and ok.

 

Just affects my anxiety a lot, but I think anyhow, the situation will be she ends up going somewhere closer to where she lives anyhow.

[Batya33]

Yeah, she was there this morning. Normally people stop for coffee and today she just left. I feel like a bit nasty, as I have been kind of not replying to her messages then she didnt hang about.

 

However, she went from being really intense one way and making out I was doing something wrong, to wanting to be best of friends. It is too much of a head-f***. I just like things to be easy in friendships not so much hard work.

 

I feel bad, but it is what it is. It seems she maybe has got the message though. Hopefully it can be amicable and ok.

 

Just affects my anxiety a lot, but I think anyhow, the situation will be she ends up going somewhere closer to where she lives anyhow.

 

Yes I think it's silly for her to choose a gym that's not convenient to her home or work -it's hard enough to get the motivation to do consistent exercise!

[Wiseman2]

Strive to be respected more so than liked. You have more control over people respecting you than liking you.

 

Liking is more subjective, fickle and arbitrary. Respect comes from your demeanor, how you act, speak and do things.

 

Being a please-like-me-aholic is like putting a bulls-eye on your forehead for users, manipulators, bullies and garbage material such as that.

[jellybean2018]

Strive to be respected more so than liked. You have more control over people respecting you than liking you.

 

Liking is more subjective, fickle and arbitrary. Respect comes from your demeanor, how you act, speak and do things.

 

Being a please-like-me-aholic is like putting a bulls-eye on your forehead for users, manipulators, bullies and garbage material such as that.

 

 

Yes, i totally agree :)

[flatsquirrel]

Wow i am going through something similar and flatteh squirrel totallty resonates, good addvice guys.