I cheated and I regret it so much

[IAmFCA]

I've always thought of myself as a bad person, because sometimes I disappoint people, I don't have that many friends, my best friend and the only true friend I have is my boyfriend. And when I tell him all of this, I am going to lose him and I don't think I would survive that.

 

I understand this feeling. Let yourself grow in baby steps, and be grateful for the friends you have - or even, the people who are friendly with you.

 

Pick one friend, of same gender and sexual orientation (important for this specific exercise).Pick someone whom you respect, whose values seem similar to your own. Very very slowly invest in her as a potential friend. Slowly and with time for her to reciprocate.

 

Think of this time as an opportunity to build your relationship skills. It will touch on many aspects of yourself and lead to multiple areas of skill-building.

 

You are more resilient than you know.

[jimthzz]

Jeez people, don't make me go watch "The Notebook" on Netflix just so I can have less drama in my mind.

 

OK, to the OP, what you did was a form of cheating--lite. If you didn't do the deed and there was no touching of the intimates, you skirted the border, so to speak.

 

It doesn't make you a bad person. It does mean your level of self control was impaired by the booze.

 

If you cannot go 20 days without seeing your BF, then go see him. If he is cramming for what, medical school? He still needs to eat lunch. Or sleep. Take a shot, go see him. Have a meal, sleep over.

 

But until your state of mind is better, I recommend not telling him yet.

 

Eventually though. No need to screw up his focus on schooling.