Is it normal to go dark for the holidays (online dating)?

[DaisyMayPorter]

Well it worked, got her to do a bit of self-disclosure in that her hesitation was distance (couple hours away) even though we both work mobile and I am not tied at all to where I live now (actually her area was one in the mix to relocate to). Made a meet-up time for this week, next problem I haven't dated since my divorce (5 years) now that should test my resolve!

 

Good luck and have fun! :-)

[LiteWait]

I appreciate all your input. We'll meet Thursday, didn't really set the "terms" for the meet up other than it's a a restaurant (I am driving up 2 hours).

 

Since this my first online date (and my first date in 30 years) , debating sending a follow up the day before, trying to think of a way to "set the table", rather not negotiate the terms when I get there.

 

Sure she isn't expecting an all night event, but at 6pm don't want to just order a drink when we likely we will both be hungry.

 

I am thinking of limiting to 1.5 to 2 hours is that normal?

[purplepaisley]

I would recommend following up with specifics now, not later. Let her know you're thinking about 6 o'clock as the best time for you, and if she can recommend any place good to meet. She knows the area better than you. If she has difficulty with this one, you can ask for her major crossroads near work/home and see what you can find via Google that's close to her. Then you can touch base again the day of or the day before you're looking forward to it, if you haven't really exchanged texts otherwise, just to be sure everybody is still on board.

 

I always get really nervous about people who don't communicate before a date (online) because it typically means they're going to no-show or bail, so I would recommend at least the "still showing up" call/text, particularly for your benefit, as you don't want to drive 2 hours only to find she pulls the no-show because she hadn't heard from you or make sure she's not planning to bail.

[LiteWait]

ok, might as well turn this into a saga...

 

met last night and lasted 2 hours at a restaurant drinks and appetizer. actually went pretty well I did have to curb myself from talking to much here and there (we are both introverts I guess I am less so). agreed to meet again she is taking a trip so it will be a few weeks. got a bit past who are you, what do you do...type of questions ... to more about relationships (in general) which I found refreshing because we could open up a bit.

 

only thing that bothered me is her dated pictures could not have been correct, clearly she isn't lying about her age, but a photos from 2016 might well be from 2010 or earlier, they weren't altered and were not professionally done, just the dates seem way off. actually it really doesn't matter to me as I didn't messages for her photos anyway I did it because she and I match up really well, and she's cute to me anyway.

 

Just wonder is this a common thing women do on their profiles? I've notice a lot of variations on many women's profiles, in some cases I even question whether its the same person!

[Wiseman2]

People rarely look exactly like their photos. If you find her attractive in person and have a second date set up, who cares? Try not to get into the "these must be ancient/doctored pics on dating apps" grind and mindset. It's not eBay, lol. Even then...things don't look like 3D in 2D. That's the point of the initial meet anyway. Even if their pics are very representational, what happens in person in terms of chemistry is all that matters.

[milly007]

There's actually another active thread on this forum where people are discussing online dating and pics.

 

Clearly I'm not a supporter of anyone posting dated or altered pics, but when it comes to online dating, it's the nature of the beast (and it's both men and women who are guilty of this).

 

I can't say I've met many men whose pictures did not look like them, but have heard stories from others who have experienced this.

 

Placing too much weight on the photos could set you up for disappointment, since some people might look better in pics than they do in person (even if they are current pics and unaltered), or worst case scenario, the pics are dated or altered. On the upside, I've met men who looked better in person than they did in their pics - so consider this a possibility as well.

 

Sounds like you enjoyed yourself on the first date though, LiteWait. That's great. Hope you enjoy the second as well!

[Zippy2000]

If theyre not going dark then they`ll ghost you. OLD can be hard work as you could be talking to someone for days or a couple of weeks then "Pow". They've gone. Disappeared or deleted their profiles. Ive had 2 women do this to me. The best idea after a few days of taking is to arrange to meet.

 

You can tell the timewasters or people who aren't willing to move on to the next stage. Usually they never agree to a date. They make excuses or fade away. You have to have your head screwed on with OLD or it will drive you mad. People disappear over a million reasons. keep your head screwed on and if you can. I tend to focus on one rather than multi date. its just too many eggs in one basket I feel.

 

Id ask to set off on one foot and set a date and see where it goes from there.