My ex broke up with her boyfriend

[katrina1980]

Eh, she doesn't take you seriously and still has a ton of growing up to do herself.

 

Your relationship with her died a long time ago. She likes that you pay attention to her, but she is on the hunt for someone else.

 

Agree and to add, OP think about if perhaps you're idealizing her a bit, imagining her to be something she's just not, versus seeing the real her, which doesn't appear to be "all that" from what you've written.

 

Idealizing happens a lot, both before we start dating someone, very early stages, and after it ends.

 

While in the RL, we typically see the person for who they are, so given how you felt about her while actually in the RL that caused you to cheat, you may wish to re-evaluate your feelings, just to be sure you're not idealizing her now.

[Jellybean9]

Obviously, I wish I didn't feel this way as It's painful to experience unrequited love. I have tried my best to forget about her, but I just can't seem to let her go. I feel that things will be different this time as we have both had time apart and time to mature.

 

It's just a chase of "first love". You will get over it eventually. I'm sure many other people on this forum have been there too.

 

Sometimes the first person you have feelings for is a lot harder to shift. Only because you haven't had to let someone go before that you've "loved" romatically. It does get easier the more you experience.

 

You are both very young! There will be more women after her trust me.

 

I'm not sure why you chose a girl with a colourful sexual history as your "first" but you did. You also realised you could not handle it and use that as an excuse for cheating.

 

Hopefully you'll learn that with cheating there should never be an exuse and it's on you. If you had felt her sexual history was too much for you to handle and you wanted to experience more. The right thing to do would have been to end your relationship with her. There was nothing wrong with you wanted to explore and "get more notches on your belt" but you can't do that while in a relationship. So hopefully you see that now.

 

Going forward do not mention your sexual history ever! I've heard how some women and men have referenced old partners sex lives with their new partners that is just wrong.

 

If someone has a colourful history like you ex did then you have to deal with it. You have to remember you chose to be with them so don't let their past phase you.

 

Now as you came her for advice I don't feel anything good with come of you pursing her. That said people will do what ever they want. If you chose to carry on with her just know she is in an emotionally unstable state. She is simply using you as familiarity while she gets over her last relationship and you for that matter.

 

So keep that in mind and try not to get too hurt if it ends badly.

[Metaltwin70]

'My advice is to figure out why you cheated, not once, but so many times. The cheating was not about her, it was about you. What is/was within you that caused you to cheat?'

 

..the fact that he was a 15-19 y old hormonal sex-obsessed teenager with a permanent ****-on PLUS an under-developed brain due to which he thought he had the world at his feet and was invincible, infallible, free to do what he wanted with whom he wanted??

 

People, have you missed how old the chap was?