Still suffering from ex’s actions

[Wiseman2]

Precisely. Recording sex with women without their consent and not using protection which you suffered an STD with complications from is not just a sex addiction. It is disregarding the rights and safety of others. And as I mentioned, this would be a personal injury case, a tort - not a criminal case, and it would be worth getting a free consultation with such an attorney to recover at least some medical expenses and actual damage to your well being (it will not help with the moving, etc.). Also agree that this is not "he's a cheater, get over it, move on" type of thing. At least pursuing some sort of justice may in fact help you move on.

I have looked at the traits of a sociopath & he ticks every one! I’ve looked at the traits of a narcissist & ticks every one. It far surpasses sex addict on so many levels. I’m getting help to overcome all that’s happened.

[Tracey06]

I agree wholeheartedly Wiseman2. Thank you for your advice & insight. It really has helped :)

[figureitout23]

Figureitout23 I do respect your opinion & advice. However my ex, as Wiseman said, systematically decepted me & EVERY ex partner he lived with. I was not a one off here. I was number 7 of 8. The other 7 didn’t know anything that I found out. I saw evidence that went back years! He knew he was deceiving me as I relocated a whole life for him. He sat back and allowed me to do that. Knowing he was cheating with ransoms & prostitutes. If I was the only one he’d done it to, I could be more inclined to agree with you on some of your points. But Wiseman2 has described my ex 100%. I have looked at the traits of a sociopath & he ticks every one! I’ve looked at the traits of a narcissist & ticks every one. He’s not a sex addict. That’s an easy out. It far surpasses sex addict on so many levels. He has deceived countless women, manipulated each & every one. He knows what he is doing. I am not embarrassed by the word victim, why should that be a dirty word? I am his victim, one of many. It’s whether I want that label to stick & hold me back. Of course I don’t. I’m getting help to overcome all that’s happened. But in what he has done to me I will always be one of his many victims. That’s just fact. Wiseman2 has raised a very valuable point, in how these people are able to continue systematic trauma to lives. It needs saying & it needs to have the same importance given as a crime. That was Wiseman2’s whole point. Whether these things will ever be given the same importance is another matter, but the more people who just say nothing & accept the behaviour happened & forget it is perpetuating the cycle of these sociopaths. Because that’s what he is.

 

I wholeheartedly apologize Tracey, your original post asked for advice regarding:

 

I am so hurt that my life is a struggle because of him & I’ve really suffered from his horrendous actions, yet his life was not affected & is wonderful. I’m not happy & struggling with so many aspects. There’s no justice. I don’t know how to get over the massive life changes

 

Had I known you were simply looking for validation, I wouldn't have responded.

 

Regarding taking him to court like I stated:

Did he purposely give you an STD? If its the three letter one, and he did it on purpose, yes he victimized you and gave you a life sentence and you should absolutely seek legal counsel.

 

Instead of confirming that he knowingly gave you an STD, you stated:

He knew he was deceiving me as I relocated a whole life for him. He sat back and allowed me to do that. Knowing he was cheating with ransoms & prostitutes. If I was the only one he’d done it to, I could be more inclined to agree with you on some of your points. But Wiseman2 has described my ex 100%. I have looked at the traits of a sociopath & he ticks every one!

 

Which leads me to believe you emotions are still incredibly high, which I dont blame you anyone would be, but you asked a question I thought you genuinely wanted an answer to. Its my humble opinion you arent there yet, so Im bowing out.

 

I wish you luck, if you choose legal retribution, I wish you luck, whatever path you choose, I wish you luck, this relationship clearly put you through a lot .

[Tracey06]

Thank you Figureitout23. I appreciate your comments, I really do. Yes he put me through an awful lot. In 2016 I started with a chronic health condition, they thought was rheumatoid arthritis. Three different Rheumatologists later i have recently been told it’s Reactive Arthritis. My new Rheumatologist wanted to know a bit of background why I had relocated twice in 4 years. So telling her my story of my ex partner cheating etc she became very concerned. She told me the biggest cause of reactive arthritis is chlamydia. & if it’s undiagnosed it can have severe impact to health. So I had the tests & the puzzle was completed. chlamydia & other STDs can be passed on even with protection. So whether he used protection or not, is irrelevant. I don’t believe he gave me it intentionally, no. But the risks he took with my sexual health were indeed international. I guess my story is a bit of a warning to all cheaters. Their actions can have severe consequences to an individuals health even with protection. Yes you are right, my emotions are all over the place. Theres been a lot to deal with. But my therapy starts tomorrow & I’m sure I’ll be on the right path to a better life & healing. Thank you so much for your good wishes. I will be ok after all this. I will :)

[Tracey06]

**the risks he took were indeed intentional** (not international) :)

[Wiseman2]

Lol, let's hope not. Glad you are doing better and starting on your path to the mend. Keep in mind your consenting to sex with him was conditional in that to you it meant exclusive and committed. How long were you experiencing symptoms? Chlamydia is nasty business particularly any sequelae you experienced..

 

Agree you will be ok. You did all the right things. Getting medical care, and not giving up until you got to the bottom of the symptoms. Not being in denial or minimizing it. Leaving this creep despite whatever setbacks you experienced. And pursuing therapy to help guide you through this mind-bending experience. Keep us updated.

**the risks he took were indeed intentional** (not international) :)

[Tracey06]

Thanks so much Wiseman2 :) I started being really poorly in 2016. Painful joints, swelling of joints, the worst flu like symptoms, chronic tiredness, stiff joints for over an hour each morning etc. My Dr & Rheumatologist immediately suspected Rheumatoid Arthritis so I was in & out of hospital for tests & MRIs. Blood tests weren’t showing Rheumatoid Arthritis positive, so it’s been an endless journey of trying to find out what it was. The 2nd Rheumatologist suspected Rheumatoid Arthritis but again blood tests were negative. So he thought Reactive Arthritis. I had a hysterectomy aged 38, (I’m 47 now) so usual chlamydia symptoms weren’t there. So it’s taken the 3rd Rheumatologist to look into the background of my ex & look at the cause. Yes I’ll definitely keep you updated. Thanks so much for all of your advice. It’s made a difference :)