Ex came back to explain. I am so confuse. Please help!

[airlee]

I think he came back out of guilt. He must have cared for you at the time. Shut you off and felt terrible for treating you that way.

 

In a way it's cruel as it has opened up old wounds again.

 

If you can see yourself being friend with him then why not? But it sounds like you are more emotionally invested in him which could lead to disaster and heartbreak.

 

He is clearky not ready! It's unfair to string you along on "dates".

 

Honestly get out there and don't put you life on hold.

 

Be polite to him if he messages but don't drop things for him. You carry on your life!

 

By time he is ready for a relationship hopefully it will be too late for him to try with you. As hopefully you've moved on and found someone who is ready and wants to be with you.

 

Live your life. If you think emotionally you are fine to talk to him from time to time then do so. If not then remove yourself from the situation.

 

Good luck x

 

 

Thing is after 5mos I think I've moved on.. and emotionally I have been okay hence I managed to greet him on his bday in July and not heard from him after that until recently. I did not messaged him either. Now that I am on track, seems like I'm back to square one again.

You're right, he did really care for me and I saw his sincerity of his apology... but why would he show interest in me again and showed regret for why we didn't work and sort of told me that I shouldn't have ended what he had and that I should have asked!

 

Grr! Should I m ask him? Maybe that'll scare him away?

[katrina1980]

 

..but why would he show interest in me again and showed regret for why we didn't work and sort of told me that I shouldn't have ended what he had and that I should have asked!

 

Grr! Should I m ask him? Maybe that'll scare him away?

 

Because as I said, he is conflicted and confused himself. I mean come on, isn't it obvious?

 

He says one thing, then says another, then another, geez is effing crazy-making! I mean, just reading this, I feel like I'm going crazy! lol

 

Seriously, for your own emotional well being, stop trying to figure this out, you never will, and will only continue driving yourself CRAZY in the process.

 

No do not contact him, I know you find him exciting and irresistible but this man is not good for you and you know that.

 

Block him and delete him, so you can get back to where you were before he contacted you. Let it go.

 

This is now on YOU.

[Wiseman2]

You listened and he spelled things out. He's "not ready" for anything but likes you enough to continue having no strings sex. You didn't mention where you stand on this by telling him unless he wants an exclusive dating situation, you're not interested so he thinks you're ok with more no strings sex. You're the one sending "mixed signals" if you say nothing, especially what you do and do not want.

all I did was listening to what he was saying

[MissCanuck]

The only takeaway from this is that he is still telling you he is not ready, OP.

 

Unless you want to be drawn back into his own confusion, don't keep seeing him. You will almost surely regret it.

[airlee]

You listened and he spelled things out. He's "not ready" for anything but likes you enough to continue having no strings sex. You didn't mention where you stand on this by telling him unless he wants an exclusive dating situation, you're not interested so he thinks you're ok with more no strings sex. You're the one sending "mixed signals" if you say nothing, especially what you do and do not want.

 

If you didn't cut what I wrote. I said, all I did was listening to what he was saying BECAUSE I was surprised and did not see it coming, I was speechless.

 

A. He said he's not ready to date out of the blue Even though i said nothing about us dating again.

B. He asked, if I was dating other people which I responded.

C. He was complementary and flirty to which I didn't put up and moved away whenever he tries to touch my hair.

D. Listen to what he was saying and just nod and agreed

 

What is there that made you think I am giving mix signals???

 

The question that I asked right from the beginning is not to ask advice whether or not should I be willing to string along with this guy? And go have hook up with him, I think I'm old enough to understand what decency is.

 

I have been asking if should I inform the guy how I truly feel? Without expecting us to be together or even have sex!!!

 

As I mentioned to other member- part of his apology was to justify that what we had before wasn't hooking up as I what I accused him before cos of the fading communication so it doesn't make sense if he apologize and explain himself only to have an intention to hook up and plus if it's really hooking up then he could of have continuously communicating with me and possibly series of invitations but he left it all there and have not heard from them.

 

My understanding to this is maybe he apologized out of guilt as what other member said, maybe he really likes me still but caught in a messy situation hence he can't commit.

 

Some members here have already answered me anyway to why I shouldn't be expressing myself l, I guess I just need more input to why I shouldn't be telling him how I feel.

 

Thanks for your advice anyway.