Severely depressed

[AlexandraNic]

I’m 41 and have dealt with depression since I was an adolescent. I’m on medication for it, and while I’ve lapsed in going to therapy I have an appointment for two weeks from today. I’m writing here because I don’t know what else to do until that appointment. I’m so sad. I’m disappointed with my life. I’m in a dead end job, live in a town I can’t stand, have no friends, and my relationship is on the rocks. I’ve been trying so hard to fight this negativity - meds, meditation, exercise, eating healthy, affirmations.....but my problems are so overwhelming I feel paralyzed and like I just want to go to bed for a week. I’m trying but I feel like such a failure.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. You need to see a doctor for a workup. Rule out any physical causes. Who is prescribing the medication? Ask that doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist who can reassess what is going on and help tweak the medication so you feel better and better able to cope. Also it's great you are pursuing a healthy lifestyle, make sure you refrain from any alcohol for now and get enough sleep. Also join some support groups, they are often free through clinics and hospitals.

I’m 41 and have dealt with depression since I was an adolescent. I’m on medication for i

[DancingFool]

Sounds like you suffer from chronic, clinical depression. Which means that you can't fix this just by trying to live a healthy life, it helps of course, but you cannot lapse on meds, regular psychiatric evaluations and ongoing therapy. It's kind of like having diabetes or any other chronic health problem - you just can't stop doing what you need to do to stay healthy and functional.

 

If you feel that your depression is escalating and becoming debilitating as we speak, then you need to go see a psychiatrist today. Tell them that it's an emergency, which it is. Your meds, doses, overall health need an evaluation today.

[Hollyj]

Sounds like you may need an adjustment to medication. Can you see the doctor sooner?

 

What changes have you tried to make in your life for improvement? Have you sought out another job? Considered returning to school? Moving? Sought out activities and groups to meet new people?

 

Are you close to your family?

[Eymerich]

I did struggle for severe depression and PTSD in the past.

 

I would suggest not to seek after medication nore therapy as I believe it is worthless and have never witness someone been cure of depression by a psychiatrist or any anti depressant.

 

My advice would be those ones :

 

- Do you live in a big city or are you around nature. If you live in a big city, try moving out one or two week in a retire location close to nature.

 

- listen to Bach and read the "art of being happy" or "Eudemonology" by Schopenhauer also walk a lot, here are few extract that you can think about, they are not exact as I quote them from memory, "we must shut down our imagination cause if we picture ourselves possible cases of happyness and their consequences, then the reality becomes even harder to live in, we build sand castle and later, because of the delusion, we pay an high price" "the one that Nature has favour, only need free time in order to enjoy is inner treasure"

 

- Regarding the last quote : is there any activity that you enjoyed doing in the past and that requires you and only you, it might be anything : walking, cooking, reading, studying, sports, music. Why not enjoying this activity : you don't have friends or your job sucks, who cares, try working just enough to pay your bill and focus on the activity you enjoy doing. You might even turn it into a profession by any luck.

 

As for me for instance, I enjoy very much reading philosophy, theology and doing math alongside with going to sports. I have friends but I don't see them that much maybe one night every other week.

 

- Focus on having poor needs (no fancy close, no restaurant, no clubs or whatever is expensive) then you will always be rich whatever you earn and you will be fullfill.

 

- avoid social media, TV, too much internet (like consult net like 15 min a day), papers rather spend your time reading.

 

I have been where you are, the time when you strongly, deeply believe that "the non being would have be better than the being", that is not the case and the depression will fade away with time BUT you need to be honest with yourself, look into your true self accept your strength and weakness, and let things go. One who accept necessity as it is set himself free.

 

I do hope you will get better, I'm sure you will be, and wish you the best.

 

Regards :)