BF Cheated...

[oneboardus]

My bf cheated on me and told me he didn't love me like he used too so I told him he had to move out. We have been living apart for 5 months, but he calls me all the time and we are always together on the weekend. I am in the middle of trying to sell the house because it is his house too and he doesn't live there. Once I sell the house I am going to move into an apartment with my son that is closer to work and family. Right now I drive about 1 hour 10 min to and from work. My bf wants to live with me when I move. He says he loves me but I have a hard time believing him after he said he didn't love me 5 months ago. Am I wrong in doubting his love for me? Should I move back in with him? My son loves him like a second dad but what if my bf decides he doesn't love me anymore again... is that a risk I should take? My heart says move back in with him but my head says not too. I just need some advice from guys on if they can really fall in and out of love like that and I need advice from girls on what to listen to my heart or my head. Thanks for listening!

[Heretic]

There was a time not all that long ago I fell in love with another girl, while I was involved. I told my gf I needed time to figure things out and we broke up. I never did anything other than hang out with the other girl every so often, and I began to realize that I wanted more of friendship with her then a romance. I did end up getting back together with my gf, but at no time was my love for her any less.

 

The fact he cheated on you shows that he didn't really respect your relationship, not necessarily his love for you. He might still love you but he might cheat on you again. If you trust him to not cheat on you I say give it another try. Otherwise forget it.

 

If it happens again he's really not worth your time.

 

Just a thought.

[smiles314]

Hey. Its tough and can really mess up your head when someone cheats on you. The fact is that he said that he didn't love you like he used to, and doubting what you guys had together so many months ago. After you tossed him out, he was able to feel what life was like without you. And probably misses you and your son immensely, maybe realizing that he does love you more than he knew. But it is so hard to trust someone after they betrayed like that. You did the right thing I believe by telling him to leave, and taking care of yourself. It is very hard to listen to your head when your heart is screaming so much louder. But you have a son, and a future you need to protect and look out after. Of course, having someone to share your future with is something people really need in life also. I think that if he really wants to be with you again, don't let him back so easily. Give him a lot of time to regain his trust, aand his place back into your life. I dont know if you should move in together again, bc if he leaves and flakes out the 2nd time I can imagine your son will be completely heart broken as well as yourself. So tell him that you have to see that he means what he means. And once someone cheats on you, it makes you very insecure and paranoid they will do it again. If you believe that he won't then you would know better than any of us. But sometimes it is more rewarding to not make urself vulnerable, drop the people who may hurt you and focus on your life improvements..

well gLuck to you!

[Gilgamesh]

Hello Oneboardus

 

This man may or may not love you but thats not the point, he has shown that he is selfish, he didnt care about hurting you when he cheated on you, and he didnt care about your feelings when he told you he didnt love you.

 

Your moving on with your life, and that bugs him, he may regret what he did, but that doesnt change who he is. husbands that batter their wives often regret it the next day, doesnt mean they will stop even though they say they are sorry.

 

For a relationship to run smoothly you need trust, this trust is very difficult to attain once lost the way he lost yours, you'll know forever that he is capable of doing this because he has done it before. your relationship with him can never be innocent and true as it was before. So even if he never does cheat on you again, dont expect things to be as they were, they wont.

 

Trust is so hard to gain and so easy to lose. I suggest you continue moving on as you planned, and look for someone that appreciates your love and gives you full respect and never gives you any reason to doubt him.

[Momof3]

I've been there and done that. I don't recommend it. My ex and I stopped living together for 2 years and I finally gave in and moved back with him. He bought me a ring and we had another (2nd) child together. It was bliss for about 2 or 3 months, then he became his old self. I remembered why I moved out the first time and regretted having moved back in with him. It only lasted 10 months. We still continued seeing each other for a few more months, then, suddenly he was married to someone else. I would never put myself or my kids through that again. It was tough to get over but I am so much better off because of it. He still harasses me but at least I don't have to see him if I don't want to. Because you do not have a child with him you can eliminate him from your life completely and move on without looking back. There are much better men out there. I found a great guy a couple of years ago and we are now married. He considers my boys his own. He would never do anything to hurt any of us.

Good luck to you