I'm so tired

[9224sp]

Is it just me, but I find this utterly bizarre. A mother and sister just sitting around watching while a son/brother tries to kill the other one? I can't get my head around that, at all. It leaves me speechless. This has to scream of massive dysfunction if ever I've heard it.

 

OP, as to what to do: Report the assault and move out. The sooner the better.

Oh yea my sister despises me. She probably enjoyed it. As for my mom we we're basically on top of her.

[9224sp]

OP please, please, please report this assault to the police!

 

I have been in your shoes. My brother is an alcoholic and up until very recently sponged off my parents in their basement with his two children. I was living in the house briefly after returning from University and one New year's Eve a friend stayed over. She was supposed to sleep in our basement, in the family room but my brother was drunk and playing world of Warcraft on the computer and insisted she just go to sleep with him in the room.

 

My friend was obviously not comfortable with the idea and we eventually had to get my dad up (3AM). Once we did, my brother flew into a rage and attacked us, throwing his computer at us and putting a hole the size of a basketball through my bedroom door.

 

My friend and I left and found a hotel. I moved out shortly after but he continued to sponge and manipulate my parents. To this day he is still enabled my everyone around him and I have been left with PTSD from it. I have panic attacks when people raise their voices etc.

 

My biggest regret is not calling the police because "he's family". I wonder if hitting bottom would have taught him a lesson or at least forced him to face consequences for his actions.

 

You need to get out of there but you also need to realize that what happened was an assault and should be reported immediately. It doesn't matter who "started it". The moment it got physical it was a crime.

 

You're not at fault. Do not let anyone tell you that you are. Get out and call the police. For your sake and his. Don't let this be a regret later.

I can't help but feel guilty. No one in the house will even talk to me including my mom and all I do is look out for her. Now she wants to have a family meeting about chores for adults. It's a joke. I can't even sleep at night my anxiety has been so bad.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you kept going after him in a very aggressive manner and participated in the brawl. Following him to his room "accidentally" braking his tv, etc.

 

Your aggression will be noted by the cops and you are the one who may get arrested because they will take statements from all of you including your mother and him and his gf.

 

He didn't hunt you down. You chased him to his room (he was deescalating by leaving in that case and you were escalating by chasing him down and destroying his property "because you were pissed") The cops will surely enjoy that information.

 

You had the option in every turn of this to walk away, go to your room, leave the house, ignore him, etc. but instead you chose to initiate a physical situation by grabbing something out of his hand, then in hot pursuit stormed to his room and vandalized his property.

 

Also who are you to tell him to leave your mother's house? It sounds like you need to leave. It also sounds like bad tempers and physical aggression are family traits.

I admit I took the partially filled cup and told him to get out of the kitchen.

After that he started to grab me by my shirt and tell me he would beat me up and threw me on the ground when I fought back.

I was pissed by then and went to his room to tell his girlfriend they had to leave and in my anger I knocked over his tv.

When he saw that he choked me on my moms bed and I was kicking him in his groin.

[9224sp]

He wasn't inside his room when I tried to break the tv. It didn't break. I told him to get out of the kitchen originally because the argument was pointless. Not the house. My mom told him to leave the house and I followed that statement. He didn't.

[9224sp]

He wasn't inside his room when I tried to break the tv. It didn't break. I told him to get out of the kitchen originally because the argument was pointless. Not the house. My mom told him to leave the house and I followed that statement. He didn't.

I never said I was blameless. I said in an earlier post it's been an ongoing problem. I always get news of what someone did or didn't do as if I can do anything. Im barely around. Either that or it ends up directly effecting me. I know many people that would just sit and watch their parent get taken advantage of in their own home. I know even less that would justify physical aggression on that level because you are repeatedly asked to pull your weight. By everyone not just myself. If I get arrested so be it I wouldn't be the only one. At least when I leave it'll be on file of what's happening because ive seen him curse my mom out for nothing and my sister shove her when she was drunk. I think you're right about the family being overly aggressive. When I got older I ended up wishing my mom didn't have to work so much so we would have had more discipline. Thank you for your insight.

[Wiseman2]

Why not just get a restraining order against him? You can't get arrested for that. It also protects you in your new place and at your work place. You need to leave, not start and jump into every fight you can think of.

 

It's not your house, so it doesn't matter what exchanges your mother and your brother have. You have zero standing in telling him to leave. Clearly she doesn't want any of you to leave because she wants care takers and rent payers. She doesn't care if you rip each others' throats out. She hates all of you because she hates your father for "abandoning" her.

[9224sp]

Why not just get a restraining order against him? You can't get arrested for that. It also protects you in your new place and at your work place. You need to leave, not start and jump into every fight you can think of.

 

It's not your house, so it doesn't matter what exchanges your mother and your brother have. You have zero standing in telling him to leave. Clearly she doesn't want any of you to leave because she wants care takers and rent payers. She doesn't care if you rip each others' throats out. She hates all of you because she hates your father for "abandoning" her.

This is speculating. I made it clear I'm barely there. I never decided on whether I'll go report or not. I also said my mom was co parenting for years without an issue but my dad didn't like that she was doing seemingly fine without him. He made himself impossible to deal with the last few. I can say my mom cares too much about what everyone thinks of her. My sister use to tell people she was abandoned by her family and ever since then my mom is afraid of being called a bad mom. It's plain not true and as for my brother she knows he won't be able take care of himself.

[Honeycomb8]

Wiseman, regardless of what she did him choking her is crossing the f- line. And if you can't see that for what it is, 1thats actually quite worrying.