I ratted on my friend

[Batya33]

Can't delete those frustrated comments above but, for the record, I'm grateful for the perspectives.

 

I do feel guilty and I am questioning my decisions in how I approached the situation, so I think I have something to learn here. But I stand by the decision to do something rather than nothing.

 

Yes. It's the something you chose that is the issue here.

[Wiseman2]

True. And people call the cops all the time for neighboring domestic disturbances, as they should. People should also contact police if there is a suicide threat. They will send the right team of people to help.

 

However going off birth control etc is not something you can report to the police. Passing the buck to a friend is not helpful. It is also not helpful to go off on a hypothetical limb and play reproductive police. Perhaps it's time to reflect whether this is drama driven or you are trying to help an unstable person.

, I think more people should express concern if they believe domestic violence is occurring

[journeynow]

I've had to put some distance between her and I recently because she is having huge problems accepting the breakup. She uses me as her therapist and i'll guide her to blog posts or resources or youtube videos about managing anxiety symptoms, but I told her I can't be her psychologist because it's really draining for me and she needs to go see one...yet she won't. She's backed off a bit but whenever she has a meltdown she blows up my inbox or calls me to offload her problems

 

Then afterwards she spends all her time scheming ways to get her ex back. She still sleeps with him and stopped taking the pill because she wants to get pregnant, manipulates him and his friends, and last weekend she physically attacked him multiple times.

 

This morning, for some reason, I contacted her exes best friend. He called me and I admitted that my friend has been suicidal and won't see a therapist, has been trying to get pregnant, and how she told me she would be prepared to attack her ex again. The guy was really good in dealing with it and talking to the ex

 

Putting distance between you is fine. She crosses boundaries left and right, with her ex, with you, and may continue to do so. The question is, what does one do when a "friend" discusses things you feel burdened by? That is a legitimate issue.