How do I get rid of my ex bff who keeps hanging out with me and my friends

[Ihora Yuka]

So I have this bff who is a fake friend as well as a frenemy. I ditched her awhile ago as some adults advised, but the problem is, I have 2 best friends who my ex bff thinks is also her bffs. My best friends are really quiet people and doesn't want to speak up and is fine my ex bff tagging along. But I am not! She is a mean manipulative girl!! My ex bff keeps tagging along and eating with us but I don't want her too, but when I do say I don't want to eat with her, she will say she wants to eat with her bffs but the bffs say their not her bff but are mine. These bffs are also fine with her always following us so how do I get rid of this girl?? I can't stay with this girl anymore because she is hated in my class and if I am seen eating and hanging out with her my class will bully me. My bffs won't be bullied because they are at a different class.

[Keyman]

You don't. If you don't want to be bullied for hanging out with her, then don't hang out with any of them. Go find some other friends.

[Wiseman2]

People can hang out with whomever they want to. If you don't like this girl, you can't bully the other girls to exclude her. Just avoid her if you don't like her and if she bullies you tell your teacher.

My best friends are really quiet people and doesn't want to speak up and is fine my ex bff tagging along.

[RubyRose]

Hiya, in what ways is this girl mean and manipulative? I would suggest maybe talking to her about the issues you both have and see if you can try sort it out. I mean it seems like your two best friends don't have an issue with her, unless its because they are too scared to speak up, so it might cause conflict with them if you kick her out the group, i.e. tell her she cannot hang out with you guys. I mean of course share your concerns with your two best friends on why you problem with her, but at the end of the day its their choice if they want to hang out with her not. I mean if you tell them they can't hang out her, then your the one being controlling and mean, so don't do that! :-) I understand though what its like to have an manipulative best friend however as I too had one when I was in school, and I found it incredibly difficult to point out her mean attitude as she would twist it into being my fault and didn't seem to understand that she was being quite mean, a bully even. So perhaps in the case of your ex friend, maybe she doesn't realise she is being mean or manipulative, so maybe that's something you should discuss with her? You said everyone in your class hates and you would get bullied if you hang out with her, so is a victim of bullying? Although I don't agree with it, she maybe acts the way she does because of the way she is treated by other people, and likes to be controlling over others to make herself feel better. of course that is wrong, and not your issue, but I guess I like to believe everyone acts in some way for a reason. Again as I said before please do talk to her about it, even tell her you don't consider her a friend but I think if you need to tell why you have an issue with her, explain how she made her feel. Even talk to a teacher about it, if you feel you can't talk to her yourself about it. Although this girl is mean and manipulative, she could just want fit in, feel loved, have friends which is why she is clingy towards you and your friends, and you just tell her the way she acts around people isn't how to get friends, and explain why you ditched her a while back. Just talk to her :-) xo

[Hollyj]

Hang out with other people.

[abitbroken]

See your other friends one on one and don't invite her. Or get new friends.

[catfeeder]

Everyone gets to pick their own friends. You can limit your exposure to people you don't like by either inviting friends to come to your home where you're in charge of the guest list, or by making dates with each friend separately. If your friends want to include the other person in their group, you get to decide whether you'll join the group or not.

 

Badmouthing anyone reflects on you, not the one you speak badly of, so avoid doing that or you'll be the one without friends.

 

Head high, and learn your own scope of control. You'll thank yourself later.

[Ihora Yuka]

she lied to me about everything and one day she said she loves me then the next day she said she hates me. Sometimes she would blame things on me and talk behind my back, and yes my other best friends are too scared to speak up even though they know she's mean. I never even talked about her but she talks about me so I just had enough and wanted to leave her. And once I did, she gossiped about me with some other friends of hers from other classes.

[Wiseman2]

In your last thread you claimed she was bullying you into using your phone, lying to your parents, etc. have to told your teachers and parents?

[Ihora Yuka]

Yeah I did they told me to go away from her. I tried to not listen and gave her one more chance for 6 months but then she lied to me again. I thought to let her eat with us but then the next week she got new friends, left us then gossiped about me to other classes. The teachers don't really care about things like this and its quite normal for bullying and getting bullied here at my school. One kid at my school wanted to jump from the third floor and kill himself last year for some reason. My parents couldn't really do anything either, and they don't press charges bout these things in my country so in here u just gotta survive. At my school, once u do something wrong they will gossip instantly.