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So I managed to get myself back out there again after my Xmas break-up, 11 weeks before I finally got him out of my head and minus 30lbs in weight which was an added bonus, so I'm feeling kinda great and back in control.


Or so I thought until an old work colleague/bf came across my dating profile and started messaging me and we met up for old times sake for a drink, however hes reading far to into this. We havent kissed or anything, he keep buying me flowers and gifts and I dot want them. He's even making plans for OUR future, ive told him Im not ready for anyone at all and that Im still having councilling plus my heart issues. I feel trapped, I dont fancy him I cant even look at him. Hes not listening to me, I dont want to hurt him but I cant do this.


Please, can somebody tell me how to do this as I feel like running away, even his texts annoyed the hell out of me?

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Dizzygirl, it is awful to be in that position. The best thing is to be brutally honest. Do not give him any hope. Tell him that he's a terrific person but you are just not into it - don't tell him maybe in the future or "it's me, Im hurting right now" you need to make it clear that you have no interest and do not want to waste his time! Put it in text if that makes it easier for you. I wish more people could be direct - in trying to not hurt someone, a lot of times we mislead them and you know what - then we make them out to be pathetic.... I know I would rather someone tell me directly they wanted out rather than try to be kind make me look like an idiot because I misunderstand their kindness for interest in me.

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I've done it, I messaged him on facebook....***** I'm really struggling, I cant do this. I'm sorry but I'm so not ready, It's not what I want at all. I just want to be alone, am so sorry


He replied...That's ok got that feeling on Saturday from you I hope I've not upset you x


Me...No not at all it’s not u. I wasn’t ready for anyone, hence why Julie uses that profile. I wasn’t ready with Tony either, think that’s why I went down under at Xmas and ran away to Wales. I just feel like I need to run away again. I can’t think straight especially when Georgi is around and yesterday I kept snapping at her, which is so unlike me this time around as im a good mum. I really upset her and I still feel so bad


He...She's a good Girl you should be is proud of her, if you will give her a hug from me.

Please will you block me


So I have now blocked him and I feel like rubbish now :(

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Dizzy, you are being too hard on yourself. You may feel like rubbish but it is better (believe me of this) to be honest and hurt someone a little than it is to offer a bit of hope by trying to be kind. In the end, even if the person at first takes it poorly, they are better off hearing clear communication. What you wrote sounded sincere.. I wouldn't give it much more thought. I always try to give clear communication and then when I am hurt and feel like calling a person that cares or cared about me at one time - i never do because again, i don't want to send mixed signals.. I cut clean and then do not initiate again.

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Me being a fan of NC but from the other side, that's all I can do now in this instance. Maybe I'm feeling what the Guy at Xmas may have been going through with me, but he didn't have the guts to call it a day?


Exactly! I hate it when I communicate clearly and someone leads me on because they are being kind. I would rather be thought of as a person that needed it clearly spelled out than pathetic!

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