Really need a Friend

[MrFisterZA]

Hey guys

 

I must be honest - I was a 'so so' frequent viewer of this site around 15 years ago. I am a 34 year old dude. I am originally from South Africa but been living in Ireland since 2013. My wife is Irish . Before I left i had plenty of friends and parties to go to. To be honest i left my country because of strife and (in my opinion); an impending civil war coming soon. I left my brother who i love and my family to come here to try and raise a family of my own.

 

Not really sure how to put this - I write this with tears in my eyes. I have achieved so much since my arrival. From a career perspective to full completion of degrees and examinations. But i have no friends. I was a confident, handsome man but i feel things have been taken away from me. I feel i have had to resort to written communication for help. Its very hard to find my fellow people where i live but more importantly; its hard to find a friend to trust.

 

I dont really expect much in terms of a response - but i hear writing what you feel can be good. If there any friends close it would be nice.

[DanZee]

Well, Boston, MA is a kind of an Irish city. I have a little Irish in me myself. And I think I know what you're describing. The Irish can treat outsiders rather rudely and not be as friendly to people not from their community.

 

This is going to sound a little crazy, but how about emigrating to Australia? I've read that Australia may be opening its doors to refugees from South Africa. It's a Commonwealth country, and you'll find plenty of Irish and South Africans there already. Plus there's a ton of opportunity there and it's much like what the US was 100 years ago where there's no limits to what you can accomplish. Plus the weather's nice, just bring plenty of sun block. Australia can bring your groove back!

[Cope]

It's very hard to leave your family and move to another country. You are describing the exact reasons. I have to ask, does your wife have anything to do with it? I'm asking this because what you describe is normal and you would have experience almost the same thing to whatever country you chose or choose to move to, plus the fact that you are posting this in the Marriage section. Has she helped you on finding friends or restricted you to do so?

[SomedaySoon]

I've heard of South Africa's troubles with the economy and such. You did the right thing by leaving, IMO. I have found as we grow older, those close types of friendships that were so easy to come by in high school and college are no longer easy any more. I would be interested to know what you meant when you said "things have been taken away from me." You should be proud of your career accomplishments and the fact you have moved across the world and still retain an ability to function. That is no small feat.

[Andrina]

Finding a hobby or interest you're passionate about will help you find likeminded people to enjoy group activities. Sports, book discussion groups, hiking, volunteer work at environmental cleanups or museum docents. I know how hard it is because I used to be a Navy wife, and moved every 2 years. Good luck.

[dias]

Well, Boston, MA is a kind of an Irish city. I have a little Irish in me myself. And I think I know what you're describing. The Irish can treat outsiders rather rudely and not be as friendly to people not from their community.

This is going to sound a little crazy, but how about emigrating to Australia? I've read that Australia may be opening its doors to refugees from South Africa. It's a Commonwealth country, and you'll find plenty of Irish and South Africans there already. Plus there's a ton of opportunity there and it's much like what the US was 100 years ago where there's no limits to what you can accomplish. Plus the weather's nice, just bring plenty of sun block. Australia can bring your groove back!

Not exactly true. There are friendly and rude people everywhere regardless the race. When you are in a foreign country, you are an outsider anyways, no matter the country.It's not a bad thing. It depends on the individual.

 

I don't think that Australia is like the US 100 years ago. Australia has an already established market. There are plenty of jobs of course depending on the field. Maybe a native could tell us more.

[ApocalypseDreams]

I'm originally from South Africa but I've lived most of my life in Australia. It's true, particularly in the city in Australia that I live, that there is a large, active South African community. I'm sure if you did move here, and you were looking to meet South Africans, you'd find it pretty easy. However, Australia has one of the strictest immigration policies and you'll need particular skills that Australia is looking for. We don't take just anyone. And yeah, I'm not really sure how to take the "Australia is like the US 100 years ago" comment.

 

Are there any South African expat groups in Ireland? There must be. I know it's a bit of a stereotype, but do you play rugby or cricket? Perhaps you can join a local club?

[leor16]

Hi MrFisterZA!

 

Congrats on getting your emotions out on paper and sharing with us! That's a bold action and it's so great to hear that you are ready for a change and to open up and make friends again :)

I can empathize with you because I've been in similar situation-on finding people to trust after traumatic experiences. But it's wonderful to know that you and I keep reaching out to find hope and love. I wish you the best in your new adventure and know that although it can be anxiety provoking and also exciting, it is definitely an interesting experience where you'll grow a lot. I'm 31, female, in California(USA) and if you wanted to penpal, I'd love to be one or if you ever come to this side of the world, I'd love to meet up. You can PM me if you'd like. I'd love to hear from you and share experiences.

 

Sending Hugs*