Jelyse11 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 So my boyfriend of 5 years ended it 5 weeks ago. We have had a bit of a roller coaster relationship but loved each other so much. He did a lot for me and vise versa. We have always stuck together through very hard times which is why I’m so shocked he has given up on me and us. He always said I was his for life, that we would get married and even got my name tattooed on his wrist last October. Well in November we started having problems. We were fighting more and he said I had become negative that he felt taken advantage of and that he didn’t like being around me. He expressed all this to me end of November and I panicked and got really clingy with him. Even with thise issues he said he still loved me and we can work on it. I have to agree with what he said as I had changed in that time. I had a new job that was stressing me out, money issues plus insecure about putting on weight which I can see I took all out on him. Come around to January and we hadn’t worked out our problems and my anxiety was through the roof. I know now that it was because he was pulling away and I was clinging for dear life. I should of been working on my issues instead of focusing on him. Anyways we had our last fight as I said he was making me feel crap and it escalated from there and lead to the break up. He said he wasn’t staying at our home anymore and needed to get away for a couple of days. I begged and did all the wrong things and this pushed him further. He went and stayed somewhere else for a couple nights and when he came back I asked him what he wanted to do. He was so angry still from our fight and said he doesn’t want the relationship. I asked if he loved me and he said he dosent know. My blood went as cold as the look on his face. I was hysterical but he stood his ground and slept on the lounge that night. Well he has been on the lounge since except when he takes off to his friends some nights to get space. For the first two weeks I was a crazy person. I kept trying to change his mind and was in denial. We had sex those first two weeks but no affection from him and he was still cold. Well after being a complete wreck for those two weeks I realised I wasn’t getting anywhere acting the way I was and stopped wth all the craziness. I still cry everyday and I have to see him everyday as we are still living together. He says he is moving out in a couple weeks which I feel relief over but also devastated about as well. We have talked about the relationship a lot over the past 5 weeks being broken up and I can definitely see why he ended it. I have told him I want to change and I know he still loves me but that he is just over it and he said that is probably true. Anyways the past week the tension between us has gone. He rang me Monday morning while he was at work to talk about stuff from the weekend. He still cooks my dinner and lunch. We lay on the lounge and watch movies (no affection though) plus he still does other little gestures that are caring. I told him I downloaded a dating app as he has been telling me to move on and he reacted by saying “well you just gave me a green light to sleep with other girls”. I could definitely see he was jealous. I told him I would delete it as I’m not interested in anything but just needed a distraction. I know he has been thinking about it because he asked later if I did end up deleting it. He said he dose care if I’m with other guys but since he broke up with me he has no right to care. Which is true I guess. I guess what I need advice on is how we can make this work and how I can get him back? I have a lot of time to reflect on myself since the split and can see my short comings. I have been seeing a psychologist for a month now as I believe a lot of my problems come from my anxiety disorder. I’m medicated for it but I knew it was time to see one. I have lost a lot of weight due to the break up so there goes my insecurities about that. And I can see that by being clingy it kills the relationship. I can see I need to be happy by myself and not rely on someone else for my happiness. I do know I will be ok without him but i truly know we love each other. I don’t want to force him into anything or make him feel the way i did in the past again. I love him unconditionally. He knows I want to change but said I should of done that a few months ago. Do you think once he moves the space between us will help things cool off more and give us time to work on ourself to come back stronger? I have said to him that maybe it is good we split for now so we can work on ourself but maybe in the future me and him will be together again and he said who knows and anything can happen. This sounds cliche to me but is better then when we first broke up and he said there was no chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.