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Agreeing to disagree?


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My girlfriend and I love each other very much but we're both very opinionated, passionate people. As of late we keep getting into arguments about various things. After yer another argument last night I asked "why do we always have to come to a consensus on things?" Because I usually tell her I don't want to argue but she won't compromise so eventually I just agree with her that I'm "wrong". She seems pretty skeptical about agreeing to disagree but I'd really just prefer if both opinions can be equally valid but not agreed upon. I feel it's harmful to our intimacy and communication if we can't be open about things we don't see eye to eye on and be okay with it.

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For me it would depend on what the disagreements are about.


I can be pretty flexible about anything non-life threatening, including respecting anyone's religious beliefs. However, I've become hardcore about my politics. I can agree to disagree with family or friends and keep such conversations off the table, but a lover? Years ago I could have maintained an attraction for someone on the other side of the political fence, but these days the climate has become too crucial (and in my opinion, life threatening) for me to feel very intimate toward someone who doesn't, at very least, attempt to understand WHY my POV is so strong.


So making room for differences may include, in your case, making room for the idea that your partner may not be able to feel very intimate toward someone who holds an adversarial position against what is important to her. It's your call as to whether or not your disagreements might fall into that realm.

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