Anon333 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 I dated my ex for about 2 and a half years. I’m 38 and have never had much luck in falling in love or long term relationships. He is the first and only person I feel I fell completely in love with and miss him all the time. He was both the best boyfriend when things were good but ultimately he was awful to me and broke my heart over and over again throughout the last year and a half. The last time we were todether was last April. He begged me he wanted it to work and even said he wanted to Mary me. Told me how much he loved me every day, even went to therapy. We had a trip planned to meet out in Europe while we were in separate trips with friends. I questioned his relationship with one of the woman he was with and he pretty much broke up with me and didn’t want to see me or talk to me. It was one of the most painful things I’ve had to go through. He treated me like I didn’t exist and told everyone I was crazy..... He tried to apologize but when I didn’t forgive him right away he didn’t try much more. Eventually I pathetically tried to be back with him but by then he found someone else within a month and threw it in my face. I believe he is a narcissist. My problem is that I connected with him and had the best times of my life with him and no matter how many people I try to date no one compares. We shared moments I don’t think I’ll ever have as special with anyone else. He could be the sweetest most loving and fun person and I have always felt connected with him. We didn’t speak for almost 6 months and I still cried about him all the time. Recently we are loosely back in touch. He says he is so happy to be friends again. But basically he texts me every few days and says “hope you are well”. Asks how I am doing sometimes. I try to play it all off like I’m great and this loose friendship is fine but really I still love and miss him and this loose friendship hurts me. But I can’t cut contact. I just can’t tell someone I love To go away and I know my advice will be to do so but I can’t. Part of me wants to tell him I still have feelings for him and that friendship isn’t working but I don’t want to give him the ego stroke I feel he is searching for and also don’t want to lose that little bit he has in my life. I know he wasn’t changed and would probably hurt me again so I shouldn’t even think of being back with him. But it hurts how casual he is with me when just last year he cried for me to be with him and he wanted to Mary me. I think he is just stringing me along for back up. I don’t want to say anything heavy to him. Every time I hear from him I want to ignore him but I can’t. I can’t ignore someone I love. I hope so much to find someone else and forget about this guy for good but so far I can hardly even go on a date without comparing my connection with him to someone else. It will have been about 10 months of us being separate. I go to therapy, but I have been depressed for almost 2 years over this relationship. Both while I was in it and now that it is over.. Link to comment
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