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I need help. Somebody plz help me.


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Recently fell for my best friend, he knew it.. we had long (hrs) of conversation, casual meet ups, long tight hugs.. So basically i got fooled with all this thinking the feeling was mutual. Many times he said he liked me but now i realise it was a friendly "like". He started pulling away from me when he met this girl, stopped calling, hardly texting, and started lying to me about this new friend that he had.. Like why was he hiding it.. Anyways i couldnt take the distant treatment and i pulled out, i just blocked him(without saying i was or any argument) from everything, whatsapp, fb, insta everything. Now i have been using my friends fb to stalk him.. they have been travelling alot and all over the place posting romantic pictures.. kissing holding hands etc. They are basically in love. I cry constantly.. i cant believe he just stop caring about me, i just cant believe he left me in the dark after meeting this person.. after we called ourselves "best friends forever" I realize then and there after things started to get distant and he was pulling away, i realized i love him. I am hurt every single day, depressed crying.. in bed all day just depressed. I just had another melt down... I know we were not "in a relationship" but i just cant help feel this way. Mind you, he did mention a couple times at the beginning, that he didnt have feelings for this girl etc etc... like it was all a lie.. maybe to keep me around?? Now all i see is kissing pictures.

 

I am trying my best not to stalk them but i just want to see whats going on... I have become a freak, having fake convos in my head of what i will say to him if i ever see him again.. I am even thinking to unblock him for him to just see my dis pic to remember me.. and the only reason we became friends in the first place is because he had a crush on me.

I just cant take this pain anymore. i dont know what to do.. someone plz help me and talk some sense into me.

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Hey prada, looking back at your past threads it seems like you were having a hard time before this guy. Your work life is hard. Your family life is hard. You cry all the time. Maybe it's time to seek therapy to help. It seems like life keeps bashing you and you don't have the tools and skills to handle it. That's often what personal therapy is for, to help you figure out how to cope with all this day to day pain.

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First of all, they’re not in love. They are in a honeymoon phase of a relationship that will wear off soon. Second, that’s very cheesy to post all those pictures. I can’t stand when people are on vacation and post pictures as they’re on vacation – like, enjoy your vacation and get off Facebook!

 

I went through something similar that you are going through, and it’s very very tough. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. You blocked him, which is great, now stop using your friend’s Facebook to stalk him. This will only continue to hurt you. Is there any other man in your life? As hard as this is, go out and try and meet a new guy, go on dating apps, whatever you need to do. You need to move on from this as soon as you can. And this weekend, do NOT go on FB! You will find a nice guy soon who deserves your love and attention, and when you do, this “best friend forever” will probably get jealous and will want you, but by that time, you will have moved on.

 

Question – aside from the blocking, are you still technically friends? And does he know how you feel about him? If he had a crush, why didn’t anything happen?

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Hey prada, looking back at your past threads it seems like you were having a hard time before this guy. Your work life is hard. Your family life is hard. You cry all the time. Maybe it's time to seek therapy to help. It seems like life keeps bashing you and you don't have the tools and skills to handle it. That's often what personal therapy is for, to help you figure out how to cope with all this day to day pain.

 

I agree, i dont have the tools or skills to handle it. Thanks for helping.

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First of all, they’re not in love. They are in a honeymoon phase of a relationship that will wear off soon. Second, that’s very cheesy to post all those pictures. I can’t stand when people are on vacation and post pictures as they’re on vacation – like, enjoy your vacation and get off Facebook!

 

I went through something similar that you are going through, and it’s very very tough. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. You blocked him, which is great, now stop using your friend’s Facebook to stalk him. This will only continue to hurt you. Is there any other man in your life? As hard as this is, go out and try and meet a new guy, go on dating apps, whatever you need to do. You need to move on from this as soon as you can. And this weekend, do NOT go on FB! You will find a nice guy soon who deserves your love and attention, and when you do, this “best friend forever” will probably get jealous and will want you, but by that time, you will have moved on.

 

Question – aside from the blocking, are you still technically friends? And does he know how you feel about him? If he had a crush, why didn’t anything happen?

 

I hope it wares of soon. I thought of it to be cheesy to. Which old man does that.. he is in his late 40's. I am trying my best to stop stalking, but somehow i am glad i did, i saw the truth. There is no other man in my life. I use this website to help me get through things, because i am the type of person who tried to hide in my room and keep my emotions bottle up and just cry to sleep. This weekend i would take your advice and try to get out the house and not go on FB. I was hoping that he would "miss" me and come running back, but i didnt know he went full on with this relationship.

 

No we are not friends anymore, its almost 2 months NC as well. No he doesnt know how i feel, i was assuming he did but didnt even care.. I think nothing ever happened because we never talked about feelings seriously. I guess he wasnt serious about me.

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FB is just a bullsh*t form of social interaction where everyone either lies about how great their life's are or b*tches about how bad it is.

 

Omfg don't think what you see on FB is real.

 

Haha, Thanks for this you made me laugh. I agree, i was never a person to post my life on FB so i totally agree. How could this be the same man who said he never liked the girl in way to have a srs relationship with her. I guess he settled and fell for her.

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Wow, “my” guy was in his late 40s. It’s the same guy!! Kidding.

 

Yes it will ware off soon, and don’t let those Facebook pictures fool you. Pictures of kissing, holding hands, even traveling together does not make a couple “serious.” For Pete’s sake, a random guy on a dating app asked me to travel with him yesterday. He doesn’t even know me!

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I have an acquaintance friend who posts THE most over the top romantic things about her and her man.

Daily. .the cat, the dog, all of the above.

 

I go to a dinner party at her house and her man has his `man cave' in the garage.

Where honestly, he sleeps, gets high and for the most part sulks around.

 

He glared at us ladies having dinner like we were intruders. . lol

Add on top of this she is whispering while complaining about him at the same time.

 

But the very next day. . FB postings paint and entirely different picture.

 

It's somewhat sad and funny at the same time.

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haha thanks guys. you guys are making me feel better about this entire situation. Taking one day at a time and trying to let time do its thing. Its really silly how people just have to justify their relationship on fb. that really is "sad and funny at the same time". Just sucks that we were not even in a relationship and i feel like this, i feel like 'he left" me. Like we were in love and he just dumped me, thats the way i feel. i might sound stupid saying that but thats just how i feel.

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I completely agree with others, people put on a show for social media. So take comfort in that.

 

BUT also prepare yourself if they remain together, which there's nothing to say they won't. He didn't cheat or betray you, you two were never together and by hiding it he was probably trying not to hurt your feelings because he clearly cares about you. You chose to delete him when he got into a relationship. Realize your role in this so it doesn't happen again, he never approached you romantically and you played the friend role hoping he would change his mind. You were setting yourself up for this fall for the entire friendship because you always had ulterior motives.

 

Try to live in your truth in the here and now. When someone tells you something believe them and don't invest in someone who refuses to invest in you.

 

I know it hurts, one day at a time, go NC, each time you get the urge remind yourself it's only going to upset you.

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I completely agree with others, people put on a show for social media. So take comfort in that.

 

BUT also prepare yourself if they remain together, which there's nothing to say they won't. He didn't cheat or betray you, you two were never together and by hiding it he was probably trying not to hurt your feelings because he clearly cares about you. You chose to delete him when he got into a relationship. Realize your role in this so it doesn't happen again, he never approached you romantically and you played the friend role hoping he would change his mind. You were setting yourself up for this fall for the entire friendship because you always had ulterior motives.

 

Try to live in your truth in the here and now. When someone tells you something believe them and don't invest in someone who refuses to invest in you.

 

I know it hurts, one day at a time, go NC, each time you get the urge remind yourself it's only going to upset you.

 

Thank you for this. I havent been prepared for the confirmation on the relationship, like i saw earlier "change of status" - "in a relationship"... (Yes i stalked, but i am hoping it is the last time) I had 3 melt downs today. Massive meltdowns. Im crying while i type this as well. I know he didnt cheat on me or betray me, you couldnt have said it better. I just was living on hope for the past few months, thinking that he will come back and ask me to be the best friend, like we were. I havent been so hurt in years, why cant i get myself out of this one..? We were just friends for gods sake. I am shattered and nothing helps. Im glad i went NC when i did, imagine being friends with him and all this happening, i would have died long before. I even have melt downs at work. I couldnt make it to work today because i woke up and from there i was torn. Not much else to do than wait on time and allow it to take its course.

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