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I think I want something different


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I've been with my boyfriend on and off, we have a 14 year difference in age. He wants to live together and a family, but isnt officially divorced and has 2 kids already and is kind of a deadbeat. I love him and want to be together but I want his divorce finalized and him to be more involved with his current kids but he acts like its impossible for him but I know its not. I don't want to break his heart but I feel like it won't work out, I just don't know what to say because we've already been together this long.

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Tell him what you told us - you can't continue a relationship with someone who is still legally married and not an active father in his kids' lives.


Why does he say it's impossible to divorce? How long has he been separated from his wife? And why does he claim it's impossible to be a better dad?

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You don't know what to say? Simply, "This isn't working for me." It doesn't matter if you've been together for 20 years. People get their hearts broken all the time, but you can't sacrifice your own happiness for someone else.


If you're not happy in the present, that's all you need to know. Sticking around for someone to change is not how you wisely choose and stay with a partner. Choose someone you don't want to change, and your life will be a lot easier and happier.


The larger the age gap, the higher failure/divorce rate. When the age gap is 20 years, there is a 95 percent divorce rate. You're gap is close to that.


Loving someone isn't enough to ensure a satisfying relationship. Write down a must-haves list and a dealbreaker list and stick to it moving forward.

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I can see why this will never work out - 14 year age difference, deadbeat and married. A pretty bad combination right off the bat. I can't understand WHY you would even choose a deadbeat as a partner in the first place.


Not working out? Tell the truth: "sorry, it's just not working out for me". Simple as that.

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