Boyfriend acting werid after sex talk.........any advice???

[Diva_Lee]

Last night my boyfriend and i were talking about sex and asking each other questions. when we have sex we don't use condoms, so i asked him if he's ever had sex with previous girlfriends without using a condom and he said yes it was 1 girl but it was a long time ago. at first i was a little upset cuz i though i was the only one he didnt use a condom with. but i mean i cant get upset with what he did in the past. however he started 2 act really strange. didnt kiss me good bye and barely hugged me. what was up with that???

can u tell me why u think he was acting this way or any other advice??

thanxx

[metallicachica247]

i have no idea why. maybe he could tell u were upset or maybe he was embarrased that he told u. there is no telling, but good luck and hopefully he should come around eventually.

[michelemybell]

Hey Diva,

Usually guys get squirmish when their girlfriends bring up past relationships--especially when you start comparing.

I'm wondering, do you have reason to be insecure in this relationship? Is he reliable, trustworthy, honest with a decent history with women?

 

You didn't give a lot of detail about your relationship or yourself. How old are you? How long have you been in relationship with this guy? Why aren't you using condoms with him?

 

Michele

[DN]

Hey Diva,

Usually guys get squirmish when their girlfriends bring up past relationships--especially when you start comparing.

I'm wondering, do you have reason to be insecure in this relationship? Is he reliable, trustworthy, honest with a decent history with women?

 

You didn't give a lot of detail about your relationship or yourself. How old are you? How long have you been in relationship with this guy? Why aren't you using condoms with him?

 

Michele

 

I love that word 'squirmish'

 

Why did the conversation come up in the first place?

[Diva_Lee]

we were watching porn together and just started talking about different things

[DN]

Then I guess the only way to find out why he acted like that is to ask him. Not aggressively or in a confrontational way but in a loving and concerned way.

[Diva_Lee]

i asked him and he said nothing was wrong. but anyone could notice that he wasnt acting strange. it doesnt bother me nowthat i know. and i appreciate him being truthful. but i dont want anything 2 change because of what he told me

[SPark]

If anything changes, I hope that it will be that you will wait a day or 2, decide to match his honesty with a bit of your own, and confess that you have been hiding a long-standing and previously deeply repressed latex fetish, and that his openness has released your true and deep desire to have his entire penis sexily surrounded by that oh-so-erotic latex each and every time you two do the deed, which, you should mention, will doubtless be often, since you will be so incredibly turned on by his willingness, in spite of previous avoidance, to use condoms to satisfy your deeply-held fetish and thereby enhance your mutual pleasure.

 

This approach has the added benefit of helping to protect you from having to worry about dealing with any unwanted viral consequences of his past unprotected sex experiences. Many STDs, including but not limited to AIDS, have relatively long incubation periods, a fact of which he is no doubt well aware. THAT could be the real reason for the squirmishness...he KNOWS that he s risking your life with each unprotected session. I feel that he will be eager to make amends by assisting you in catering to your long-repressed and newly discovered fetish.

 

Now, to develop a peruasive STD-testing obsession!

 

Happy protected sex to you both!!

[arwen]

I am a bit concerned by the fact that you chose to have unprotected sex before even knowing each other's sexual past. And even if you know, there is never a 100% garantuee that there won't be risks for STI's.

 

The reason there are still so many people getting infected with STI's is mainly because no one thinks it applies to themselves or their partners. I would get myself tested if I were you.

 

As for his 'squirmishness', could be he just really doesn't want to talk about this specific girl. Could also be that she was NOT the only girl he had unprotected sex with, and him being distant was because he wanted to show he really didn't want more discussion on it. I can come up with more things, and they might just have the result of worrying you for no reason. Just see how things go from now, try to talk about this another time and see if the same thing happens again?

 

Without wanting to sound like your mom, please get yourself tested. It's your own health that could be at risk here.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse.

[sisterlynch]

I think that you should playfully ignore him until he tells you what he is feeling. I trust your instincts.