Lambert Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Long story short or a least I'll try.. My new BF of less than a year had a meltdown and panic attack. we were supposed to spend yesterday together after he ran some errands. He was later than usual calling me and had been drinking. he was very upset rehashing old hurt feelings from his ended marriage. Divorced 2+years. She lives in another part of the country now and has her own relationship with the man she cheated on him. ( that's important to note.) Our relationship is his first since the divorce. At first I thought maybe I'm a rebound. I quickly let go of that. Just based on his actions and the seemingly healthy progression he went thru being single over the two years, at least so it seemed. He was planning to go back to therapy bc he was feeling that the relationship is hard for him. He's nervous about being hurt again. Combine that with some fairly significant professional and family concerns, I was very supportive of therapy. I worried that his therapist would be my ex, a therapist in our town. I never mentioned this to my BF. I thought I'd wait until he mentions the doc and if it's not, (my ex) than who cares. my ex does want me back but I am over that and never mentioned it to my BF. This really has nothing to do with it except to acknowledge I have nervousness of relationships, too. I mean who doesn't? It's not easy for anyone to put themselves back out there. I've been hurt too. I'm taking a chance here,too. so the night b4 we were to have our day... Wait it goes further back than that. two nights b4, we had a good night and ended it by looking forward to the day together..... That's when the bubble burst. The night in between our dates He got drunk by himself, worked himself into an emotional tizzy and called his ex wife in the middle of the night, and screamed at her that she ruined him. I can't believe he did that. I'm mad that he did that. The drinking for him continued into the day, that's why he was late calling. We did not have our day. He was upset and cancelled. (Obviously) I did what I thought was right. I tried to tell him he was not a train wreck. And asked about the therapy. It is scheduled for this week. I tried my best to calm him down. He thanked me for that. Which was weird and awkward...... I got off the phone. I'm sad that he is going thru this. I'm worried about what will happen or what has happened. Is he still on some kind of drinking binge? Idk. And as I mentioned I'm mad! Like why!? I have been keeping myself busy. I visited my parents. I did not mention any of this. It was hard for me to put on the act. When I couldn't any longer, i made an excuse and I came home. Haven't heard from him. I have not reached out. I'm not sure I should. For one I am mad! For the other maybe he just needs some space for today. This will not be resolved overnight. I'm thinking he needs to talk to that therapist and get some professional help. As for me, I gotta keep my life peaceful. I do not do well with conflict. I tend to want to help everyone with their problems, sometimes to the point, I sacrifice too much. This is difficult. Link to comment
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