I really like her

[TurtleDog]

I am sure than many of you, if you remember me, remember that I came from a very very toxic relationship where I was horribly abused and taken advantage of for 2 years.

Though I am still dealing with the issues that caused me a year and 4 months later, I decided I was going to try and get back on the horse.

 

I had started seeing this girl in January of last year, nothing too serious and we had been casually seeing each other for about 3 months. This girl fully understands what and where I am coming from and because of this is not very eager about pushing me into a relationship or even asking about getting into one. Next month will officially be one year since this girl and I had started whatever you would call this, and in the past 7 months or so, we have pretty much become exclusive without even telling each other that we are in fact exclusive...which I know sounds confusing, but the feelings are mutual all around the board.

She even asked me to be her roommate, and we have been kind of living together for a week now.

 

For the first time in 3 years...I feel respected, cared for, like I matter, like I am a human being who matters, like my feelings matter.

I have not felt any anger or annoyance with this girl, who I am going to refer to as "Lady" now.

 

Lady is the first girl I have dated who has her act together, she has her own place, a car, graduated college and is teaching in a high school. (We are 24 and 28)

Shes the first person I didn't have to support, the first person to offer to pay for things on a date, and the first person to not pressure me into doing anything.

 

Lady let me have my own reptile room (I have 3 geckos, and a frog, and hope to expand my collection), but the reptile room is also the room where she grades papers and I can do my homework because thats where the desk is. She loves books and also stores her book shelves in the reptile room and even offered to take out a book shelf so I have more space for tanks.

 

I am genuinely happy, and even though this is not an official relationship, it still has been the best thing to happen to me in a long long time.

[Hollyj]

Are you seeking counseling for your trust issues? Why won't you make it official? What does she have to do to 'prove' herself?

 

Glad you found a nice woman.

[limichelle]

She sounds very nice! Like Holly asked why don't you make it official? She's a girlfriend anyway it sounds like. Did you ever address your past relationship and the affect it had over you?

 

Lisa

[Capttrae]

Sounds like you have a good thing going. Only thing I see is “roommate” do y’all share a bedroom or separate bedrooms. If y’all are sharing a bedroom may as well make it official and be done with it. If spectate rooms, how would you feel if she brought another guy home or bring another girl home?

[Rozhni]

I’m wondering why she’s not talking about making it official. Shouldn’t that be the girls job?

[archimage]

Glad you were able to get yourself out of that post break-up phase. Good luck