archimage
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Everything posted by archimage
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Day 6 Hard to not think about him when I am alone with my thoughts, but otherwise, it has been ok.
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Day 4 Didn't think about him this morning because I had an exam to take. When I got home, I started to feel a little bit lonely again, and started to blame myself for the break up. I think I was the dreaded overly jealous girlfriend. Though i gues keeping occupied really does help.
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Day 3 Woke up grieving the break up. I still don't understand why it happened. It's not for me to know now though.
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Day 2 Feeling ok. Can't get him out of my mind.... at least I don't feel sad or anything. Not the right place to say here, but wish me luck in my exams
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Day 1 Just feeling really stressed right now. Finding it really difficult to study... don't think I will make it through this semester. Sometimes I still think about my ex - about how happy I might be if he was here. But the reality is that if we ever got back together, I am just going to be reminded of why we broke up.
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I broke NC... Joined a group chat with our other friends, so we didn't discuss anything to do with our relationship. In fact, I act as though we never dated in the first place. He has probably moved on at this point. All our friends think we are fine, but as far as I know, only he is fine, but I am not. I am just hiding it from them. I am really disappointed with myself. I just thought I could prove to him that I'm a much happier person now, but that is really just a facade (even I know that). Part of me wants him to regret breaking up with me. I know, how pointless is that? I am not 100% fine with myself... heck, not even 60% happy with who I am. Guess I also lied to myself thinking that I am a completely improved person when I'm not.... I need to put in so much more effort into myself if I want to become truly happy with this break up and myself. I will be starting again tomorrow.
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Day 16 Woke up this morning feeling resentful. I wanted revenge, I wanted him to feel the pain that I did. Yet, I know he isn't worth any more of my time. When will I finally get over him for good?
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Day 15 The days are easier to get through. My only worries now are passing my finals lol.
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Day 14 Feeling much better now.
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Day 13 Haven't stopped crying but I don't feel as sick when I think about him.
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Day 12 of NC. Been coming to accept the break up now. Has been hard for the last few months probably because we still kept in touch within our friendship circle.
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Day 11 of NC. Ugh.... I thought I was fine but then I thought back to how defensive I was when we together. All I did was nitpick at his behaviour. I guess splitting up was the best for both of us.
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Day 10 of NC. Not too sad about him now. Though I wish my friends would stop telling me about how well he's doing (they think i'm fine with the break up) because just the thought that he is having fun without me stings a bit. I am off to better things now. Besides, I really have to study for my finals and thinking about him all day is not going to help at all.
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Day 9 of NC. Made a post on a forum yesterday asking about the state of our relationship. Link is here . Thanks to this I realised how little respect I was getting, and if we ever tried to work on the relationship, all the compromise would be on my side. It's easier to not get miserable at the thought of him now.
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Day 8 of NC. Been feeling horrible since I woke up. I can't believe that all the promises we made are now void.
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Day 7 of NC. For some reason I keep wondering whether breaking up with him was the right choice. Maybe our issues could be fixed? I may have overreacted? Then I read this list I have that has the majority of the reasons why he was not a good boyfriend. It made me feel a little bit better about my decision to break up with him, but it didn't stop me from thinking in the back of my head: what if I was just overreacting? I imagined being with him again. Oh man, the anxiety that I had during that relationship crept back to me. I wasn't that happy. I was constantly trying to seek reassurance from him (which was also probably why he agreed to break up because I can imagine how annoying that is). But the fact that I constantly wanted reassurance just signaled my insecurity in the relationship and my lack of trust for him. I wish I could be like some of the other people in this thread - they seem to feel relieved and free.
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Day 6 of NC. I can't stop crying over what we could have been. It has been really hard to accept that he has nothing to do with me now. He lied to me so many times... I know I deserve much better.
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Hey, welcome! I am not good at giving emotional support but I like to provide practical advice. First, realise that your ex isn't the only source of happiness. In the next few days, you're probably going to reminisce the good times you had with her. That's how the human mind works. We tend to forget the unpleasant memories and hold on to the good memories. So next time you find yourself thinking fondly of the past, remind yourself that the break up happened for a reason. Definitely keep yourself occupied. Try to find things that make you happy because while you are doing those things , your ex will be out of your mind and you'll be finding yourself again. It's a win-win Don't know what other people in this forum would suggest, but if you are worried about what to do if she contacts you... then just block her. Do what you feel is best for you, but don't lie to yourself. I still kept in contact with my ex when we broke up, but now I am regretting that because it didn't help me with moving on at all. I lied to myself thinking we could still be friends.
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Day 5 of NC. Again, I am imagining what life would be like with him here with me. I keep thinking about all the sweet things he did for me. However, it doesn't change the fact that I was also unhappy in the relationship as I constantly worried about where I stood in his life. He was a liar and cheated on me emotionally - I need to get that into my head!
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Day 4 of NC. I cried several times yesterday.... Just imagining a senario where we met up again somewhere to have a heart to heart talk. I know that a situation like that would probably never happen, and all the things I want to say to him are pretty redundant because I know that I deserve better. Explaining to him what he did wrong is useless because I am never going back to him. So why do i have this want to let him understand the pain he caused? I don't know why I care so much about the opinion of someone who couldn't care less about me.
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Day 3 Of NC. Our mutual friends think I'm already over the break up so they are constantly talking about my ex and sharing pictures of him with me. I wish they would stop because seeing him really takes my recovery back a few steps every time... But at the same time I don't want things in this group to go awkward. Yes, I'm just doing myself more harm than good... but somehow I think I can manage (I might be wrong). In the mean time I will try to slowly shift out of this group. Overall, I am still hurt by what has happened. I cried a few times yesterday thinking about how much we argued during our last week together... And frankly, I don't know if i cried because I missed him or if I felt sorry for myself (for being such a doormat).
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Day 2 of NC. Really feel empty inside. But I can already feel like this is for the best. I am trying hard not to think about him, and when I do, I think of all the qualities he's lacking. However, it is hard not to be nostalgic of the happy moments from the past. I am mourning over the loss of the old him... because now he's almost a different person. Was he always like this? or did I somehow change him to become the very type of person I did not want him to be? I wonder if I am ever going to get over him for real and just see him as if he were one of my other platonic friends. I am thinking about finding a hobby that I can occupy my thoughts with.
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Day 1 of NC We've actually broken up 2 months ago, but ever since our break up, we've remained as friends and kept in contact because that's how we started off - as friends. We are also part of the same friendship circle, which doesn't help at all. Of course our conversations are not as they used to be (before we started dating) but I've come to wonder why I even agreed to being friends with him when there are so many other people out there that I can be friends with instead. Today will be the day I will begin to stop contacting him and checking him up on social media. Since we are part of the same friendship circle, I have seen him several times at group outings ever since our break up. I don't think our friends sense any awkwardness between us - it's as though we never dated in the first place. But I was just wondering: since I am doing the NC Challenge, should I still agree to go out with this group knowing that he will be at the event too?