Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 I had just gotten back from a trip in the UK and I had brought back with me some gifts and souvenirs for them, so we decided to meet up at my place on the 27th of December to just chill and exchange our gifts from the holidays, everything was fine and all and our friendship has been solid for the past 3 years with barely any arguments or hassle, we could talk and do everything together and we treated each other like family, but ever since they left my house they all a sudden proceeded to block me on multiple social media platforms and despite my attempts at establishing some communication they have ignored all my messages. 1 Girl has blocked me on everything possible while the other girl whom I admit I am much much closer to (this is probably just blind optimism) hasn’t blocked me on other platforms like Line/FB. They mean a lot to me and I can’t seem to get my head around to understand why they decided to block me out of their lives and seemingly without hesitation.. was it all pre planned? I now just feel lost and betrayed.. could really use some advice here on what I should or should not do, I really want to try to fix our relationship if possible and I’ve been trying to figure out if it was possible if I had offended them in anyway possible but I can’t seem to pinpoint any causes. My daily life has been essentially ruined because they have always been my support pillars for the past few years and as time goes on I’m slowly getting more and more depressed, please help I’ll appreciate any and all advice on what I can do. I know one instance where in the past they have blocked other friends but in time they unblocked them but that took almost a few months, in this case I’m not sure if they’d do the same for me and even if they did would they ever be interested in getting things back to the way they were.. I have so many thoughts running in my head that I can’t seem to function anymore. A part of me wants to believe that they are like testing me to see how far I would go because I recall that they once said that they would “break up” with their bf at least once to see whether the guy would fight for the relationship and to see whether they were crazy but this might just be me reading too far into it. And we don't get to see each other on a daily basis either we've graduated into different schools so meeting up is an issue, I do however know roughly when and where I can possibly catch them and try to get them to talk to me or is that inappropriate? TLDR: Bestfriends came over to my place, nothing went wrong and everything was ok but after leaving they have chosen to remove me from their lives. Need help on what steps I should take to either fix the friendship or move on. Link to comment
Starlight925 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 What a couple of biatches. Immature, spoiled biatches. Wow. Without even talking to you about why they were doing this. The fact that they say they’d break up with their boyfriend to see how much he’d “fight” for them....what immature nonsense. I know this hurts, but my advice is to move on, block them from everything, and find nicer friends. Wow. Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 Yea I thought about that and obviously i disagreed with the whole break up thing, but I'm in like full on denial of whats happening right now, sure they might be immature but they were still friends that spent time and effort with me, I'm afraid this might cause some sort of anxiety in me in the future when it comes to making new friends because these 2 were the first i felt i truly connected with on an emotional level so obviously my gut says "stay with them because they did the same for you" but my head tells me "you'll find better in the years to come just let time do its thing" Link to comment
Starlight925 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 my gut says "stay with them because they did the same for you" No, this isn't your gut saying to stay with them, it's your fear. Unfortunately, they aren't even giving you the option, as they've chosen to childishly block you. SMH. My 14 year-old niece is more mature than this. How old are you? You will find, as you move through life, two things to be true: When people show you who they are, believe them. When people walk out of your life, let them. The only thing for me to clarify is, did you try to ask either one if something was said, or done, that caused them to have this reaction? Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 18 this year along with them, friends for about 3 years, they only blocked me on jan 2, but they ignored me since 27th dec, and within that timeframe i've tried to ask for what happened, and attempted to apologize for anything that i think could have went wrong, no replies whatsoever, I guess I can let time play this one out, I just don't have that big of a social circle, I can make friends easily, I'm not shy and I have a strong aura of confidence but I can't seem to bring myself to invest so much time into friends, except for the two of them of course.. so i'm lost and alone with no friends to really ask for help Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 It looks like they are playing with you the same way they play with their boyfriends. It's all about power and control. Instead of begging for forgiveness which is what you seem to want to do, go have fun with other friends, find a new hobby, etc. and go NC (no contact) with them. Ironically, seeing you doing fine will likely bring them back, though I believe you should continue ignoring them and cut them from your life. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 I find this behavior bizarre. I'd probably act if I hadn't noticed and carry on with them as normal. What do I care about social media if we have direct access? Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 Yes i've been trying to do this, ever since they blocked me I havent made a single attempt to communicate with them, however i do intend to perhaps in a week time or so demand for some sort of common ground and meetup to perhaps just discuss and have closure for both parties. Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 Yea im trying to go about normal life but its been tough, appetite is weak, sleep is bad, overall mental and physical energy has been taking a decreasing.. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 So sorry for what you are going through. I think often when there is a group of 3 female friends, one or more of them at various times will become "the other" or "the outsider". I'm not sure what the right term would be. I was in a family of 3 girls, and that was how it often became. Then when iwas almost 12, my mother had another daughter, and despite the age difference, there was a changed dynamic. I doted on my baby sister, and I still have much more in common with her than my other 2 sisters. I think that you will feel much better soon. Young women, into their mid to late teens can have these very intense relationships with other women. Then usually, one or more of them gets a partner, and their friendships change. I think that's how it is, relationships can constantly change. At some point in time, each of them will probably seek your friendship again, but it's probably a good time and opportunity for you to make a wider circle of friends. Xx Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 Funny thing is actually, the one im closer with had like 5 ex boyfriend before hand? Me included all though we didn't officially say we were dating but we had a mutual feeling towards each other and well stuff happened, we don't talk, 6 months later we somehow find ourselves being bestfriends, weird huh.. edit: the other one on the other hand has had extremely bad luck with boyfriends.. none so far no matter how much she tries Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 Good point actually, side note im a guy and they aren't afraid to actually get physical with me, one of them decided to pretend i was her boyfriend just to troll all her friends and such, but either way I can understand what you mean, truth is they were both already close friends so it was just the two of them, then somehow i found my way into their circle and it soon became the 3 of us, now obviously there will be times im the 'outsider' as you mentioned as they are girls and im the guy they do sometimes exclude me by saying "girl's night out" but then there will also be moments that one of them becomes the outsider while I'm spending more time with one of them like playing games that the other doesn't find interest in, either way we complimented each other really well which really makes me wonder why this happened, the chemistry was perfect at least in my eyes. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Oh, I thought you were female! Well, that's true about girls having intense friendships. I would think that it's possible that one or both of the girls had strong feelings for you, at least in the past. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 It's hard to believe that people who play childish games are pillars of support. Perhaps you need to broaden your horizons and find a more mature trustworthy group of friends. Leave it. See what they do but in the meantime decide if catty witches like this is who you want to identify with.You should never depend on friends to this extent where one or two are your whole life.My daily life has been essentially ruined because they have always been my support pillars for the past few years and as time goes on I’m slowly getting more and more depressed Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 In the past yes, one of them, your typical bf gf stuff but that didn't last long, we grew distant eventually but somehow got back to being friends, now I could just be thinking too much into this but like the girl in question would usually mention how she'd love to date her bestfriend or someone like a bestfriend she can confide in and stuff, so in a way and this seemed like it on the outside it felt like we were actually dating, cute gifts, nice wall of texts sometimes and she wouldn't hesitate to post on her social media how she's like so happy to see me and so "in love" with me cuz well she was pretending to be my gf just to have fun and troll some people.. which makes me wonder if maybe somewhere deep down she truly loved me but I never show'd the same? maybe thats why they left? Idk like this could just be blind optimism.. Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 That's my fault on my part tbh, I thought that they were all i ever needed so problems in my life i kept to myself and them, i even kept my parents out of the loop of all my personal issues.. even this whole ordeal i have yet to really tell my parents or sibling. Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Yes i've been trying to do this, ever since they blocked me I havent made a single attempt to communicate with them, however i do intend to perhaps in a week time or so demand for some sort of common ground and meetup to perhaps just discuss and have closure for both parties.I am not sure this is a good idea. You think they'll even respond to you? Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 I am not sure this is a good idea. You think they'll even respond to you? probably not and it might even make thing worse but I think I might as well try Link to comment
jimthzz Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Oh jeez, time to find healthy friends. who care about you as a person, not as someone to manipulate. Ghost 'em. Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 Oh jeez, time to find healthy friends. who care about you as a person, not as someone to manipulate. Ghost 'em. I try my best.. I guess for a time they were actual good friends but something must have changed recently.. Link to comment
jimthzz Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Oh jeez, time to find healthy friends. who care about you as a person, not as someone to manipulate. Ghost 'em. I try my best.. I guess for a time they were actual good friends but something must have changed recently.. Their cruelty is not new, is it? Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 Their cruelty is not new, is it? To me? No, not once have I ever felt cornered or threatened by them this is a first, to others though.. perhaps Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Well, you mentioned that there was some romantic history there too. In my experience people get weird when there were previous feelings. I've had a very close friend completely go silent after she found out I had gone on a date with someone else, even though I never had any sort of romantic encounter with that close friend and we'd been friends for a while. Link to comment
Meowgi Posted January 11, 2018 Author Share Posted January 11, 2018 Well, you mentioned that there was some romantic history there too. In my experience people get weird when there were previous feelings. I've had a very close friend completely go silent after she found out I had gone on a date with someone else, even though I never had any sort of romantic encounter with that close friend and we'd been friends for a while. Come to think of it we’ve barely if not never mentioned our previous history of romance we just hid it under the rug and never dug it out again Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 You're assuming they didn't dig it up because you didn't. I'm not saying that that's the reason, but it might be. Link to comment
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