Should i call her tomorrow

[Thegambler]

I really like this girl i met her 6months ago since then i been chasing her like a maniac,, but she wanted nothing but friends with benefits with me from the start,,but i fell for her and i didnt give up i kept talkin to her for hours and hours when ever she wanted to talk i would leave whatever im doing and find a way to talk to her,, going to her place when ever she would let me come over i would usually have to convince her,, stay there for hours even sleeping over,, even though once she told me while i was there she hooked up with some1 else also and i got so mad i left right away, cried, cursed her called her every bad name possible,, crashed my car broke my hand and said im never gonna talk to her but again me thinkin life is short whatever forgive her i went back to her.

 

But it caused me to have trust issues so i told her we stoped talkin because i hated assuming stuff plus i couldnt keep anything inside so i would tell her what’s bothering me she would clear it i dont know if she was lien but i trusted her blindly once again same thing i did when she hooked up with someone else because she was talking to me like she would never do that , and then like a fool i couldnt stay away for more then 3 days and i agreed to stop assuming and trust her fully but then she told me she lost interest but after a week of talking like we used to she started talking to me the same way like were a couple me pretending shes mine.

 

We continued talking like were a couple we went out few times before she use to never want to hang out now she would agree also she agreed to not hook up with anyone else she even told me she likes me but she still wouldnt agree to a relationship cause she doesnt see us going anywhere with it cause of religion differences,, recently i told her i love her and i want a relationship she told me we can be best friends n friends with benefits then she tells me its better if we stop talking and i agreed because she said she feels low when talks to me also the day before she said she told me she doesnt feel like hooking up nomore and then when she said i cant continue faking this love thing i agreed to stop talking to her its been 4 days and i been going crazy thinkin is it cause shes talking to some1 else or she wants to hook up with some1 else,

 

we can talk for hours about nothing make each other laugh but i feel like i got nothing but pain and i did nothing but show her love she never appreciated how much i cared her response always was idc or i never asked you to do this,, and i know me calling her is just going to be more pain cause she probably already seen some1 else but i still want to call her the last 4 days felt like worst pain in my life mentally i just cant stop thinkin about her my only mistake is i fell in love with her i couldnt control my feelings and it hurts should i call her and agree to being friends or is that just more pain i can move on but i dont want too i want her only her,,how do i tell my heart stop cause im tired of gettin hurt, im thinkin of calling her tomorrow should i call

[DanZee]

Well, I'll tell you, I'm guessing there was something in her past that caused her not to want to form serious relationships. She might have been abused. She might have had a series of bad boyfriends. She might have had a single parent household or a cold and distant mother. Whatever the reason, she's outlined what she wants from a relationship. It's you who wants something different, and I can commiserate with you. I had a similar situation and I just couldn't accept that my girlfriend did not want a relationship, just a FWB kind of thing. Her parents had a lousy marriage and she didn't want to form anything permanent. When I realized she liked me but didn't love me, I had to move on, and I think if you can't deal with a FWB type of relationship you have to move on too.

[Thegambler]

Im just scared that if she wont commit to a relationship then she will probably use that as an excuse to hook up with some1 else then will say we were never in a relationship or am i just over thinking it can you blame me all my life my rule was trust blindly dont ever even look at ur girl phone if its unlocked infront of me because i wouldnt want them to go tru mine just trust them and she made me realize what blind trusting does,,, also thank you for the reply so i should call and try one more time cause i dont really want to live with out her worst thing is i will lose her like this i am losing her

[MissCanuck]

No, you most definitely should not call.

 

She isn't going to become your girlfriend, my friend. I know it hurts. But you need to start accepting it. She has made it clear many times that there won't be a relationship beyond what you have now, and yes, that means she will eventually start dating someone else.

 

It's time to start letting go, darling.

[Keyman]

So, at what point will you accept that she does not want to be in a relationship, or will you badger her until she finally does what you want and spend her life unhappy because you forced her into a life she did not want?

 

It sounds like your obsession for this girl is unhealthy, for both of you and I feel it is going to push you to do something that you regret.

[DaisyMayPorter]

The fact that you are crashing your car and yelling and screaming at her when she already told you that you were only FWB bothers me a little bit. You need to take a few steps back and not contact her. I mean if it’s this dramatic for you now and you’re not even in a relationship, imagine how dramatic it’s going to be if you were in a relationship. But since she already told you she doesn’t want that then I suggest you just move on.

[Giblesp]

She's stated what she wants and how she sees you both.

 

Your now hanging in there hoping it will change, which will look needy in her eyes.

 

Tell her that if she ever feels the same way she can give you a call. Then disappear forever. No accepting scraps from the table in the hope that it will change, that will make you weak and needy in her eyes. And think about it, she would be right. If you never hear from her again, this will set you up for a more emotionally compatible partner.

[Thegambler]

So i ended up calling her and we are back to we will continue what we were doing i wont ask for relationship,,she said she wants that she could do whatever i could do whatever and we both will talk and still hangout,,I didnt want tht i wanted we both just hooking up with each other if with some1 else we let the other know and still talk and hangout but not as much she agreed but i wont ask for realtionship

[boltnrun]

So how will you feel the next time she tells you she hooked up with another guy?

[Thegambler]

Will she really do that i asked her many time if she had since last time she did that she can just tell me ill just walk away then but she always says she hasnt and swears she hasnt

[boltnrun]

Um, didn't you two agree that she would "do whatever " and you would "do whatever "?

 

What did you think "do whatever" meant?

[MissCanuck]

Will she really do that i asked her many time if she had since last time she did that she can just tell me ill just walk away then but she always says she hasnt and swears she hasnt

 

Of course she will.

 

She isn't going to remain in this FWB arrangement once she meets a guy she wants to date, OP. She doesn't want to date you, so you have to face the fact that she will eventually move on to someone else.