Sabrina918 Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 My ex and I ended a 7 month relationship abruptly. We went from talking marriage and kids to him telling me my biological clock is ticking and he cannot give me marriage now (he's 40) and wants to focus on his career as a surgeon. I was devastated. For a month I took any crumb he gave me, begged, would jump at his every comment and finally we met one day for 3 hours he told me he loved me and to "stay in touch" because we could have a future someday but for now I should date others. 2 weeks later I see a girl recently following him on ig posts a photo of his house and I text him that I know the truth and I'm upset and never responded to his texts. (I called him the night an hour after she posted the photo-he didn't answer) He gave 1 word comments on my ig stories a few times and I was strong with no contact until last week when he wished me a happy new year and I asked for a bracelet back and also wishes the same to him. He never responded. And now I'm constantly wondering where he is, who he's with, and whether he's with the girl. I want to prank him, see him on the street anything but also have too much pride to ever speak to him again! Please help me stay strong! It's been 4 months almost... is such a regression normal? How do I fight the urge to stalk? Thank you Link to comment
Sabrina918 Posted January 3, 2018 Author Share Posted January 3, 2018 I'm 28 and a dentist. He told me that last time I saw him he wouldn't go on and date anyone else because I was either his greatest love or greatest heartbreak and it would be very difficult to get over plus he had work to do and loans to pay off and a business to build and a relationship wasn't his main focus... while he was a workaholic I do know now that those were only words and his actions showed he really could care less to lose me. So why am I so caught up? Link to comment
Clio Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 This guy has made up his mind about you. No matter all the sugar coating after the break up, he does not want to marry you. At best, he will use you as a FWB if you allow it. You are stepping to crazy ex territory. Nothing good can come out of this. You need to stop stalking him and go strict NC. Seeking professional help might help you resolve whatever is keeping you stuck on this person. 7 months was too soon to be taking marriage and kids. If he did that, then he was immature and you missed a red flag there. You need to take him off the pedestal. It sounds like you were dazzled by his potential (his status and future faking) and overlooked his lack of actions. He sold you a dream and now you are struggling to let it go and accept the reality. Dreams can be addictive like that so you need some time to take it out of your system. The truth is in his actions and this person turned out to be all words. Sadly, it happens. Right now you are addicted to the fantasy he sold you. You need to delete and block him from your phone and social media and do your best to erase him out of your life. Any new info you learn about him is toxic. You need to try to focus on your own life and the people who ARE there i.e. family, friends, new people. You can do this. Good luck! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 Try to let this go. You dated only 7 mos and it was Way Too Soon to talk about kids/marriage. Clearly he wants to play the field,not settle down. Don't become the "psycho ex", for your own dignity and sanity. Get yourself together with getting in shape, new pics and a new dating profile and put your energy into finding someone more suitable.7 month relationship abruptly. him telling me my biological clock is ticking and he cannot give me marriage now. 2 weeks later I see a girl recently following him on ig posts a photo of his house. I called him the night an hour after she posted the photo-he didn't answer. last week when he wished me a happy new year and I asked for a bracelet back. He never responded. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 It would be nice if he just told you the truth - he ended things because he wasn't into you and didn't see a future with you. Unfortunately, people rarely grant you that gift of peace of mind and bluntness. They believe that if they lie, try to let you down "gently" that it's better, but it's not, is it? Leaving with hope sucks. Regardless, it's on you to realize that it really is over, it doesn't matter why he ended things and what lies, aka bs reasons, he gave you. What matters is that he didn't want to be with you anymore, and that you are only 28 and have plenty of time to find a good man and a truly good match for yourself. Take some lessons away from this, like being a bit more skeptical of too much flattery and future talk too soon, and move forward. Block and delete this guy from absolutely everything. Link to comment
Sabrina918 Posted January 3, 2018 Author Share Posted January 3, 2018 I do agree. I have let him go knowing I would never want a spouse like this or the way he treated me. In reality, his silence spoke volumes. BUT, there's something recently that's pulled me back in caused me to regress and not stand strong and that's what scares me. I stayed far away for four months and stood strong Any guidance is much appreciated! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 Holidays often bring up stuff. 4 mos can also make the pain less and therefore forget that part and wonder about the good parts. Stay strong, make sure you are starting to think about dating again.there's something recently that's pulled me back in caused me to regress and not stand strong and that's what scares me. I stayed far away for four months and stood strong Link to comment
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