ashley928 Posted December 24, 2017 Share Posted December 24, 2017 Hi All, I'm having an extremely difficult time getting through this breakup of a 7 year relationship. My ex ended things a month ago, 2 days after he got out of rehab and is completely loving the single life. Some back story: 3 years ago we moved in with each other to a new city where he was going to start school. I had a very difficult time making friends and became pretty codependent. He would get frustrated and brought up his issues constantly. I am very conflict-avoidant so these issues were very stressful and most often going in one ear and out the other the second he wasn't upset about it. This stress on the relationship also caused stress in our sex life (a HUGE issue for him). This past year he absolutely couldn't deal anymore and starting using drugs and drinking as a means to cope because no matter what he tried, things were not getting any better and he did not know when enough was enough. He is now 2 months sober and my extreme hurt and impulsive reaching out to him is really triggering him to want to throw that all away. Like I said, he is so happy with his new life, new friends, quit his career, and attends AA 3x a day. This is so hard to go through a breakup and watch him be okay with it and even be HAPPY! I am grieving so hard because this really is all my fault to begin with, which makes it worse. He has grieved slowly over the course of 3 years which makes it much easier on him, although he hates how upset I am. I met up with him yesterday to give him a gift of a scrapbook I made of our dog we have together and noticed a big hickey on his neck. My God I wish I didn't see that. I almost slapped him. What was getting me through this breakup was HOPE. Hope that maybe he just needed space and a break to really find himself again. But it seems that he definitely wasn't okay with our sex life and found it somewhere else, a month after this breakup. I am back at square one, and probably even worse off than I originally was to begin with. I screamed at him, I made him feel like , I told him I hated him. He blocked me from every social media and phone number to protect his sobriety and now I am alone. I'm so stuck. I can't get the images of him being with someone else out of my head. I wish I could move on too, but I feel that I am not ready and that would be unfair to someone else. It just makes me so angry and hurt that he was able to do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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