Is This Weird?

[jul-els]

I just met this girl online and we’ve gone out twice. We have another date planned for next Tuesday. I’m interested in her but we were texting tonight and had an exchange that struck me as very odd. Her favorite band is Fleetwood Mac and she mentioned that they’re going on tour next year. I said I wondered how much tickets would be and she said they hadn’t gone on sale yet. I said I was going to keep my eyes peeled for them and said maybe we could go. She replied with a laughing emoji. I was confused by this so I replied, “Huh?” She replied with, “well I’m going for sure which means my bestie would be going, so that would make three of us”, followed with another laughing emoji. That struck me as really weird. I wasn’t sure how to reply to that, so I said, “I see. Just a thought. But you’re right, I wouldn’t want to invite myself”. She replied with a winking emoji and a smiling emoji. This strikes me as a rather odd response. Did I say something weird? Or did she? I just left the conversation at that point because I didn’t feel like there was much I could say. Now I’m just sitting here going huh. Weird.

[IAmFCA]

You’ve gone out twice, which is too soon to plan months ahead. Her bestie is expected to still be her friend in a year, so if she is to make plans that far in advance, it’s her bestie with whom she will go.

 

Then, her reply to you showed she thought it was sweet, if a bit foolhardy. The emojis show that she recognizes your kindness, and the serious way she took your comments gives you respect, fairly so because you were not joking. To give you a graceful exit she said, in other words, “It’s a year away, so I will plan it with my best friend, whom I know will still be around.”

 

Inviting yourself was not the issue. Planning too far ahead was.

[jul-els]

Well 2018 is a few days away. I don’t know what month the actual tour starts. But it was just a thought since it’s something we have a common interest in and were talking about. Guess I made her feel like she was on the spot. It’s not a date since we don’t know the date yet. I just thought it was something like, “yeah, maybe so”. Guess I’m the one being weird. Oh well, whatever.

[jul-els]

Her bestie is always there. You however may not be so this is why the conversation went in the direction it did. I wouldn't take it personal and I wouldn't expect this to go much further than it already has.

 

Expect what to go much further?

[jul-els]

Your dating relationship

Okay then. Thanks for the encouragement. (?)

[jul-els]

You are welcome

 

Wow. The internets. Gotta love it. Lol!

[IAmFCA]

Okay then. Thanks for the encouragement. (?)

 

Jul els... be careful! With twain's answer - which is just a statement of fact - your reply above reflects the same thinking that created the awkward exchange about the concert.

 

You do not know whether you will be around for date #5 much less a concert sometime in the next 12 months. That's not about encouragement/discouragement, its about the fact that you have been on TWO dates. That is all. That is nothing. No matter how good it feels.

 

The future will arrive all by itself and right on time. Put your mind in Now, and don't worry about whether this date is leading to a future.

[jul-els]

Jul els... be careful! With twain's answer - which is just a statement of fact - your reply above reflects the same thinking that created the awkward exchange about the concert.

 

You do not know whether you will be around for date #5 much less a concert sometime in the next 12 months. That's not about encouragement/discouragement, its about the fact that you have been on TWO dates. That is all. That is nothing. No matter how good it feels.

 

The future will arrive all by itself and right on time. Put your mind in Now, and don't worry about whether this date is leading to a future.

 

Yeah, I guess I made it awkward but that honestly wasn’t my intention. I just thought tickets might go on sale next month and it might be fun to go, that’s all. You’re exactly right it has been only two dates and I don’t expect one awkward exchange to make or break anything at this point. Just seemed kinda weird to me to say, “you blew it bud”. There’s nothing to mess up at this point. But he gave his opinion. That’s cool, I appreciate it, it’s just kinda beside the point.

[mustlovedogs]

Yes, what you said was weird.

 

You made plans anywhere from 1-12 months in advance. Without actually being in a relationship.

 

She deflected beautifully. Used her bestie as her backup so she could get out of under your very awkward comment.

 

Too soon. FAR too soon. To make plans even 2 weeks in advance.

[jul-els]

Yes, what you said was weird.

 

You made plans anywhere from 1-12 months in advance. Without actually being in a relationship.

 

She deflected beautifully. Used her bestie as her backup so she could get out of under your very awkward comment.

 

Too soon. FAR too soon. To make plans even 2 weeks in advance.

 

Yep, I get it. Oh well, I’ll just move past it. Not that big of a deal. She’s expressed a lot of interest so far, so if she’s done after one silly statement then that’s that and I’ll move on with my search.

[Batya33]

Yes, I would take what you wrote as a joke or as just some random comment with someone I just met. I dated a guy years ago who had the bad habit of asking me out last minute so the second or third time I said "I would love to go but I usually make weekend plans further in advance". So he asked me out in advance and also asked what I'd be doing on a particular date a year from then so he could book our catering hall for our wedding.

 

Certainly it's nice that you both love Fleetwood Mac (me too, saw them in concert many years ago!) but be careful about suggesting you'll be together even in 6 months when you only recently met her -especially in a text)

 

(He was really full on and serious about me for about two months. On New Year's Eve he invited me out with his parents who were lovely, got drunk -only he did - and proceeded to treat me rudely in front of his parents. I ended things the next day.).

[jul-els]

Yes, I would take what you wrote as a joke or as just some random comment with someone I just met. I dated a guy years ago who had the bad habit of asking me out last minute so the second or third time I said "I would love to go but I usually make weekend plans further in advance". So he asked me out in advance and also asked what I'd be doing on a particular date a year from then so he could book our catering hall for our wedding.

 

Certainly it's nice that you both love Fleetwood Mac (me too, saw them in concert many years ago!) but be careful about suggesting you'll be together even in 6 months when you only recently met her -especially in a text)

 

(He was really full on and serious about me for about two months. On New Year's Eve he invited me out with his parents who were lovely, got drunk -only he did - and proceeded to treat me rudely in front of his parents. I ended things the next day.).

 

Yikes. That sucks. I think anyone with any common sense would remove themselves from that situation. I’m not a rude person though. I just said something innocently without thinking before I opened my mouth. She seems like a pretty cool person, so hopefully it didn’t scare her off. But if it did, it did. Not much I can do about that now.

[Batya33]

Yikes. That sucks. I think anyone with any common sense would remove themselves from that situation. I’m not a rude person though. I just said something innocently without thinking before I opened my mouth. She seems like a pretty cool person, so hopefully it didn’t scare her off. But if it did, it did. Not much I can do about that now.

 

I think it's totally fine that you texted her about that - it's Fleetwood Mac for goodness sake!!

[catfeeder]

It's not a big deal. She was likely flattered that you projected yourself that far into her future, and she's just letting you off the hook. Limit future talk to close relationships rather than brand new dates, and you'll be fine.

 

Head high.