trustyourself Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Its been an interesting year. My emotions have been all over the place, in part due to my ex. Broke up December 2016. NIC for several months and she would reach out every couple of months. That she missed me. That she loved me. This ended in June when she initiated hooking up over a week or two. Then she broke it off again. 4 Months later of NC(about a month ago), she reached out again. Said she had something she needed to give to me. I waited a day, and then I guess I got curious, so I agreed to meet her after work on the Friday. We met up at a bar, and she walked in, and her face lit up. She gave me a big hug, and then sat next to me. We were facing each other, and she sat so close our legs were basically intertwined. We caught up for a bit, and then she brought up our past relationship. She apologized for her part, and gave her reasons for why she was the way she was, in such a way like we could make it work. I told her it didnt matter because her family did not approve (We argued on the phone during our breakup and they thought we were bad for eachother as a result). Her response was that if they saw she was happy, they would be happy in time. she was touchy feely the whole time. Kept on touching my face, saying she missed it. We talked more, and eventually I asked if she was seeing someone. She said yes, that she had been dating someone for about 6 weeks. I told her I was happy for her. After about two hours and two drinks, I told her I had to leave, as I had plans. We walked out together, and she asked if I could wait with her for her taxi to arrive. We were standing outside, and she kept on hugging me, telling me that I smelt so good and that she missed my scent. Then she came in for a third hug and kissed me. I kissed her back and we embraced like that for about 10 seconds. I disengaged and she said 'whoops, that just happened' and tried to laugh it off. Her cab arrived, and she maintained eye contact with me the entire time until the cab drove away. Thirty minutes later she texted me. It was a strange text. She said 'Would you have babies with me' I responded with: 'If you are asking if I saw a future with you, then yes' and she responded 'okay :) ' I told her I had a good time and said goodnight. Over the next week she texted me every couple of days, even with Good morning texts (Friends dont do that?) and would ask what I was up to, talk about random things. The next weekend, we arranged to meet up for breakfast on Sunday, and obviously I had no idea what this all was. So we went out for breakfast, and then went for a walk afterwards. Things were a little awkward this time round. I eventually brought up the elephant in the room. I asked if I could ask her a questions. She said yes, and I chickened out and said never mind. She responded with 'I dont know'. I asked her what she thought the question was, and she said 'what is this?'. Bingo. We proceeded to have a talk, in which she said she was still confused and lost, and needed to work on herself more. That it was obvious we had a crazy connection, or else she would not be here etc etc. I told her that I agree that we do, but if she is seeing someone else, I cant be her friend, and that we should not talk anymore. She agreed. Told me that she thought the same, and she owed it to this guy to give it a chance. She said she wouldn't contact me for 'a while'. I told her not to contact me unless she has figured herself out, and wanted to talk about giving it another go, but that I was not waiting around. I walked her back to her car, we hugged goodbye and she left. Its now been one month NC, and last week I blocked her from my social media as she kept liking my instagram posts and I felt it was a hook from completely letting go. So... What is this? Closure? Breadcrumbing? Just a confused individual? I don't really need advice on going NC, as I have done that, and I have accepted that we are likely not going to get back together. I am actually in an ok place now, and I am happy just working on myself. My confidants that have helped me through this have said this is not the last I will hear from her. I guess I just wanted peoples opinions on this, and maybe a female perspective? It just seemed odd after 4 months of NC *Forgot to add that we were together for two years. Link to comment
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