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Emotional Confusion


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I have found myself to be in an emotionally confusing situation and I would like some guidance on it all. Having led a crazy life-so-far (mom dying, recovered from drug addiction, a divided family, nasty breakups, moving from neighborhood to neighborhood) I've made MANY mistakes, made many friends (people of all types) and have learned many lessons (still more to come). I am 21 yo and moved out of my parents house eight months ago but I'm thankfull to be in a pretty decent (only decent because colorado cost of living is so outrageously expensive) financial situation - A job with a wage that will cap at 19.5/hr by mid to end of 2018, 40 hour workweek plus three days off in a row providing an opportunity to further my education or get a second job for saving purposes, a Good rated credit score (keeps on going up) with credit card offers, a like-new car with only insurance payment, low debt, and dirt cheap rent. Yet, I am unhappy. I may have pinpointed the problem as having to do with the people that are in my life right now. My current inner circle of friends (3 friends I went to middle and high school with that currently live in the house I'm in) constantly complain of depression issues - one is addicted to cocaine and quit his job, the other, same age as me, works one hour a day ( has no high school diploma or GED), sits around the rest of the day, smokes weed and plays video games. The other one is trapped by his illegal family, forfeiting his income to pay off a house (this one seems to be the most potentially successful since he's building his credit by paying off bank loans). I hate to sound overly critical but these friends don't seem too eager to want more in life and are stuck in the high school mindset. Every time I hang out with them, I feel the depression rub off, and I fall back in my comfort zone. I feel awkward and out of place because I can't stand to see people I've known for so long crash and burn because they have no desire to want more. I need the type of people who can challenge me and the collective group to do better because I am the type of person that, like I stated before, had a crazy childhood and wants more out of life. My gut feeling says to take advantage of my situation and break from this culture by getting an apartment after my wage caps and go to college. Should I keep in touch with these people? I would feel really awful for cutting them out of my life but I've had past experiences with other people where I've been happy. Or should I move on and find those who will help and support me in my journey to find better happiness?

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You will never stay clean or move forward if these are your friends and housemates. Move out and make clean productive friends. Find better roommates and get out of this crack-house. You can't change or fix or rescue them.

recovered from drug addiction.

My current inner circle of friends that currently live in the house I'm in

- one is addicted to cocaine and quit his job,

-the other, same age as me, works one hour a day, sits around the rest of the day, smokes weed

The other one is trapped by his illegal family, forfeiting his income to pay off a house

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krisloo, your situation reminds me of a British film I recently watched - Trainspotting.


A close group of friends who were addicted to heroin, but it's mostly about their close friendship throughout the years. They were around your age too.


They eventually parted ways (one actually betrayed the others before leaving).


But they were always in each other's thoughts and reunited 20 years later (the sequel, T2 Trainspotting, which I haven't seen yet but will).


Check it out, it may give you more insight into your situation and guide you to make the right decision for you.


Best of luck.

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Life is all about change. So yes, if you want to go on a different path, you will need to embrace change and leave your past and people who are dragging you down well behind you.


This means move out, move on, move away from your comfort zone....well away.... Make a point of making new friends, which won't be easy or quick, but keep searching. Do bring people into your life who inspire you to be a better person yourself. You actually sound like an extrovert, meaning that you absorb the energy from around you and it influences you to either succeed or fail, so it's particularly important for you to surround yourself with people who will inspire you to improve and do better. Whose influence is positive.

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I have walked away from many social groups/friends throughout my life. You can out grow your friends, and it's healthy to seek out new ones that will be a support in your life. It's called moving forward. Meeting new/positive/motivated people will influence you to do better too! It's a win win.


One group I walked away from were all drug users. I was starting college, and I knew that lifestyle wasn't going to help me with my goals. Some have OD'd, some are homeless, some are physically ill because they never stopped partying. I'm so glad I moved on.

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