hrb23 Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 TLDR: My ex cheated on me and left me in Jan/Feb then continued a relationship with me (and her new guy) until around June time. I finally went hard NC (and so did she) in June. Since then I did pretty okay, I live overseas without any family but my family visited in August and we had a blast. I was in one short relationship which I put down as a rebound that lasted through July. In October I started dating someone super nice! We have tons in common but recently, since the holidays started around Thanksgiving I've been missing my ex A LOT. I texted her a bunch of stuff the other day completely breaking 6 months or so of hard NC. I thought she'd never reply but actually she did today. She told me to please stop contacting her. Which I will. I'm not trying to go down that wormhole again. Anyway, why the heck did I get so far and then suddenly miss her SO MUCH all of a sudden after 6 months. Is it because I was deep down hoping she'd reach back out and she never did so I had to? I kinda just wanna jump town, leave my stable, high income job and leave all the memories and the hope behind. I've been through therapy and I've started dating again but I'm just not gonna get over my first love the way I want to. I'm still comparing everyone in sight to her and am still terrified I'll never feel the same about anyone again. I guess I'm reaching out to her because I want it to be as easy as never having to find that connection with anyone again. Last night I went on what will be the last date with the girl I've been seeing. I can't keep doing this and have realized it just isn't fair. I need to find a way to figure out how to beat this horrible addiction I have for my ex and wonder if anyone has any suggestions for getting past a sudden reoccurrence of that post break up feeling almost 6 months into hard NC? I don't want to have to go back to therapy. I want to figure this out for myself. But will I ever get past this? Link to comment
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