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My girlfriend is lying to me..

Mike H

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I'm 29 years young and loves to travel. During a little tour of South East Asia I grew very fond of Thailand in particular and have been back several times now. I don't hang out in bars paying for sex btw, I enjoy the food, the culture, the beaches and nice weather! Last year while I was there I met a girl who worked at a local school as a teaching assistant. She also attends university nearby and is studying for a Master's Degree.


To cut a long story short we have been dating for about a year now and I've visited her 3 times since, I always stay 3/4 weeks. I've met her family, her friends and we travelled to Malaysia together in June. To be clear I've always been realistic about our relationship and accepted that it probably won't last forever as we live on different sides of the planet to each other. I don't send her money or anything either nor have I ever gave her any money like that. I have not slept with anyone else while we have been together though and do call her my 'girlfriend'. She however often talks about us getting married and having kids together in the future. It's quite sweet but a long way away if it was ever going to happen.


I have never had a reason to doubt her loyalty until last week. We are planning a month long holiday together in 4 weeks time and on Wednesday I found out she had lied to me about something, her whereabouts. She always messages me before and after work but this has stopped too. She said she had a problem with the app we use to communicate but that was a lie too as I could see she was still active. On Saturday she had no explanation for any of it and then said she was going somewhere nearly 3 hours away from her home at 6pm at night and was returning the same day. When I confronted her she is now saying something about her friend being pregnant and that she tried to abort it herself..........


Absolute madness and lies, of course. Just 4 weeks before I travel too flights, hotels everything booked. What should I do??? My suspicion is that she is with or has been with another guy, I honestly hate to think that about her but my heart is telling me she's lying.


We have planned the holiday together and she has booked some hotels etc so breaking up with her now would be a huge inconvenience... Not to mention it will cost me lots more money as we booked in advance to get all the best deals.


Please help!

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Unfortunately, I have to agree that it sounds like she is lying to you.


I also suspect she's honed in one you as a way to a brighter future for herself. Her bringing up marriage this early is concerning. You don't mention where you're from, but I am guessing it's somewhere much more developed and economically sound. This doesn't mean she didn't like you as a person, but I am a little skeptical of her overall motive here.


I think you should strongly reconsider taking this holiday with her. Sure, it would be an inconvenience to break up now, but imagine how you'll feel if you go and then discover she's been talking to some other guy while you're on this vacation. I would instead see if you can get a friend to go with you. name

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Whoa! I think you have a problem trying to control what she does from 8,000 miles away! You yourself said you were not interested in marriage with this girl, but you're acting like a jealous husband already. It seems like she didn't tell you what she was up to because you'd flip out, just as you're doing now. If she's just a casual fling in a tropical paradise, just relax and enjoy her company. But don't start getting obsessive about her. Unless you change your mind about marriage, I don't think you have a right to question what she's doing when you're not with her. As they say, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

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