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Mike H

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Explorer (4/14)

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  1. My 2 year relationship ended rather quickly this afternoon and I'm experiencing a feeling of emptiness. I've managed to get on with the rest of my day but I'm now struggling to find the incentive to do anything, such a strange feeling.. I've had one other bad breakup in my life many years ago and this site helped me with it. I'd never dealt with anything like that before so needed to learn how to accept it and move on. Sadly this time there is so much that was hidden from me in such an evil and dishonest way I'm not sure how to process it all. Also so much I will never know as she won't tell me. To sum it up I found out our whole relationship was a joke to her and she had been lying to me from the start, or thereabouts. She has had a second phone for a while and has used it to talk with other men, I just found that today. She's even been doing it on her everyday phone, that's how much I meant to her. I shed a tear earlier, afterwards. I have no shame in admitting it. But now I just feel like an idiot. She even said 'you meant nothing to me', I won't start listing everything we have done in those 2 years but I have almost 1500 pictures of our time together. It was a long time ago that I was asking for breakup advice here and honestly thought I'd never need to again. Are there any new tips because I just feel lost right now.. Thanks
  2. When it happened I didn't talk to her for almost a week, I didn't return her numerous calls or texts then after 6 days of her begging me to forgive her I just told her she needed to wait. I heard she had taken time off work and her sister called me saying she hadn't left the house in days. She asked me to kindly decide if I wanted to be with her or not, the truth is I was trying to find a way to forgive her. Anyway after we spoke she said that if I forgive her then please don't bring it up again as she already feels terrible that it almost ended our relationship. I agreed although I still wish I'd asked more questions. She isn't using the apps anymore and is seemingly trying to fix things. This has been the only set back.
  3. Yes it's not out of the question that I'm overreacting. It has been a difficult few months for me, I really want to get over all this but I have to be sure about her. I've been burned in the past and would rather not go through it all again.
  4. Well the guy lives far away, at least 8 hours. Apparently he added her to Facebook ages ago, she said she used to talk with him every now and then before we met but always innocently. She uses (or used) lots of social media apps like Whatsapp etc and he added her on one of them using her email address obtained from FB sometime last year. Instead of removing him she talked with him but not every day, I do not know to what extent. The way I found out was we were sitting watching a video on her phone and she got a notification on an app which said 'hi babe how are you?'. I asked who it was and she said just a online friend, that she hadn't met him before and she hadn't spoke to him for a while. Prior to this we had been for a nice meal and had a really good night... Knowing I was upset she deleted the app. I should have asked to read the chat but I didn't think at the time. It was the fact he called her babe that really annoyed me. It took a few weeks but I finally said ok, we will try and move on from it. She cried her eyes out on multiple occasions and genuinely seemed sorry, but she still insists that at least on her part it was just friendly talk. I did think about it and she could have quite easily disabled the notifications or temporarily deleted the app while we were together but she did not, she isn't stupid either. So there's that to consider.
  5. I've been with my gf for over 2 years now, around June last year we started sending each other the odd nude/sexy picture or 2 just for fun really. She said she's never done anything like that before, just with me. Then in November I found out she had been talking with another guy behind my back. Just talking. I know they didn't meet but still. It took a while but eventually I forgave her.. Last week I was having problems with my phone and it needed to be sent away to be fixed. I deleted all pictures of her and sent it off. When I got it back I asked her to send me all the pictures again, when she did there was 6 that I'd never seen before. I asked her when she had taken them and she said ages ago. She says she is positive she sent them to me as the only reason she would take them is to send to me, but if I haven't seen them before then maybe she forgot. It's clear that they were taken on 2 different occasions. Even though I forgave her I still find it difficult to trust her 100% and she knows. This is why I'm asking about this on here. Is it possible that she did just forget to send these pictures or is the reason she is positive she sent them that they were sent to someone else instead? She does take a lot of pictures in general and often just sends me the best ones but these were what I would consider best ones (not all nude btw).
  6. I'm 29 years young and loves to travel. During a little tour of South East Asia I grew very fond of Thailand in particular and have been back several times now. I don't hang out in bars paying for sex btw, I enjoy the food, the culture, the beaches and nice weather! Last year while I was there I met a girl who worked at a local school as a teaching assistant. She also attends university nearby and is studying for a Master's Degree. To cut a long story short we have been dating for about a year now and I've visited her 3 times since, I always stay 3/4 weeks. I've met her family, her friends and we travelled to Malaysia together in June. To be clear I've always been realistic about our relationship and accepted that it probably won't last forever as we live on different sides of the planet to each other. I don't send her money or anything either nor have I ever gave her any money like that. I have not slept with anyone else while we have been together though and do call her my 'girlfriend'. She however often talks about us getting married and having kids together in the future. It's quite sweet but a long way away if it was ever going to happen. I have never had a reason to doubt her loyalty until last week. We are planning a month long holiday together in 4 weeks time and on Wednesday I found out she had lied to me about something, her whereabouts. She always messages me before and after work but this has stopped too. She said she had a problem with the app we use to communicate but that was a lie too as I could see she was still active. On Saturday she had no explanation for any of it and then said she was going somewhere nearly 3 hours away from her home at 6pm at night and was returning the same day. When I confronted her she is now saying something about her friend being pregnant and that she tried to abort it herself.......... Absolute madness and lies, of course. Just 4 weeks before I travel too flights, hotels everything booked. What should I do??? My suspicion is that she is with or has been with another guy, I honestly hate to think that about her but my heart is telling me she's lying. We have planned the holiday together and she has booked some hotels etc so breaking up with her now would be a huge inconvenience... Not to mention it will cost me lots more money as we booked in advance to get all the best deals. Please help!
  7. So im being told that you seem down in the dumps since breaking up with me. How am i supposed to react to this? It has crossed my mind that it may not be me that your upset about, and that it could be other issues in your life which are getting you down. We both had problems at the time but you knew that i would have been there for you no matter what, unlike all the other waste of space boyfriends you have had. Why couldnt you have been there for me too? We could have stuck by each other through the bad times like any committed couple would do. Instead you dump me at the worst possible time and make my problems escalate. I was doing well until i heard this information. As i still care for you deeply it makes me feel like i SHOULD contact you, but then again why should i risk causing more pain for myself?
  8. So, almost at the end of week 3. Seems like 3 months to me.. Id like to congratulate you on being so happy hanging around other guys (NOT) while im still picking up pieces of my heart from when you stomped all over it. I know you didnt mean to hurt me, but you did, and at the worst time possible too. I feel like you never gave me a chance, and if you had done things might have turned out differently. When you left, you took a part of me with you and unfortunately it's not something i can ask you to give back. I wish i knew what you wanted out of a relationship. Not so i could try and change myself to your liking, but so i could understand what it is that made you decide we werent meant to be together. In my eyes things couldnt have been better and you came accross as being very happy. In fact you told me so and wanted to be with me as much as you could. I hope you realize what you have thrown away. You said it yourself, you have been mistreated/under-appreciated in the past and then you found someone who would have always treat you like a princess and it's still not enough.
  9. So im in work today and realize that next to nobody knows we arent together any more. Im kind of glad you havnt went and told everybody, but at the same time it makes things worse for me as people still come up and talk about 'us' as if we are still seeing each other. Hearing your name makes my heart skip a beat, then i get an odd feeling in my stomach, a bit like butterflies but more of a sickly version. Im looking for another job anyway, but since the BU i find it damn near impossible to work there without thinking of you all the time. We shared our first decent conversation there, our first kiss, you asked me out whilst working etc.. A bad start to 2013 all round. Wish things had happened differently.. Im over the worst now i hope, but please dont contact me in the future asking for us to try again. You hurt me in a way i didnt think was possible. As much as i miss you, i couldnt take being with you again and for you then to decide its not going to work down the line.
  10. Yet again i dreamt about you last night. And when i woke up i swear i could still smell your perfume on my bedsheets, even though they have been changed a number of times since you left me. I still think of you every minute of the day and your face, as well as your facebook pics, are imprinted on my mind. I sometimes wish that we had never got together in the first place.. Why were you so quick to call things a relationship, tell me your happy and then dump me out of the blue? I miss you so much.
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