br3ak Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Hi! this is my first post on this forum , I am 23 years old. I have been in so many relationships by now and there always comes a point until I can't take it anymore and I walk away. I will keep it as short as possible. It's always the same with me, like the same algorithm over and over again. I meet a girl, I like her, we get into a relationship, then one of these things happen. 1. I stay monogamous, then eventually whether it's 2 weeks in, or few months into the relationship ( however much time it takes me to get emotionally invested ), I start getting jealous and possessive out of anything. I had to leave relationships for reasons like: she had a guy friend or more, or she was dressing revealingly, or she went in clubs, and so many other things. Then at some point or another, I can't take it anymore, whatever she did that bothered me doesn't leave me alone ever, I can't study well, I can't workout well, I can't even sleep well because it causes me bad dreams. I start feeling so ty that I have to walk away, I learned that most of the things that bother me are accepted into our current society so I never even bothered to complain about it, one day, I just leave the relationship without any explanation cause I'm dying inside. 2. My friends told me to sleep around with other girls, or at least hang out, that that's what they do to not look "weak" by getting jealous about different things, and yes, it was some sort of miracle, it legitimately seemed to have fixed all my problems...at first. I was in a relationship with this girl, she was great, problem was that she had this group of friends, that involved other dudes that seemed really close to her. I was getting so butthurt whenever she hanged out with them, that one time I legitimately threw up. Then I got reminded what my friends told me, I started seeing another girl ( old friend ), and bam, whenever my gf went to see her group of friends, I suddenly started to not feel anything anymore, because I had this other girl that I cared about. Thing is, when I mean I started to not feel anything anymore, I really mean anything. In time, I lost any feelings for her and eventually broke up. And that's when I learned another thing about myself, if I see other girls other than my girlfriend, yes I don't feel jealousy anymore but I lose all interest in her whatsoever and the relationship of course ends. And none of these things happened just once, I have tried to make so many relationships work, and each and one of them ended in one of the ways listed above ( mostly the first one ). I saw, in secret, a couple of different psychologists about this, it didn't help. One of them seemed completely careless and we couldn't really connect, and the other 2 both got at some point to the same conclusion, that I am getting jealous and insecure because I am afraid to lose "her" ( whoever "her" was at that specific time ), the most clicheic thing in the book. I proved them both that it's not the fear of losing her that's the problem, by ending things with the girl in question.....and I was fine. None of them, and noone in this world seems to understand that it just bothers me, and that I'm not afraid of losing anyone, or that I'm scared I am not going to find another girl like her or at all for the rest of my life. I proved myself numerous times that that's not the case. I don't even know what my goal is with posting this. Link to comment
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