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i m confused

el el 12

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Hi there. I m having an issue here and i don t know who i can talk to and i think that maybe you can help me...sooo... im seeing a guy now about 2 months hes older than me like 40 yeards old. At first he was texting me constantly and all the time like all day ..we are 2 hours away from each other and and we ve met some times for the whole weekend. The thing is that he says he has so little time and that he will try to make time for us to meet. I understand that and i m ok ! However on these upcoming holidays he s going abroad for like a month..I asked him if he has to be for so long away and that if he could find time for us to meet and he said that he dosen t know how long he will e staying but aside his work and his holidays he will try to find tiime for us..Now we are going to meet each other this weekend and he was planing things with me and then he says i have to go to sleep and i m a little bit cold so maybe i can t meet with you i f i m cold . I undestand that but that was so wird. He was planing things with so much joy and then minutes later he says that. I m not stupid and i don t know whta to think and do..I m attractive and he s not that much but he s really clever like a genious..However we only text and some time he calls when he has time..SO what are your thoughts? cause i m confused ...It will be really nice to her from you !

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It's only been two months.

He did arrange to meet for this weekend.


Let this grow at a natural pace, if you so desire.


What does you being attractive, and him not so much have to do with it?

Does that mean you expect him to be falling at your feet?

Men love beauty, no doubt. But more than that, they love confidence.

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Where have you met? Has it always been at your place or have you gone to his home? Are you sure he's single if he's only been to your place? Is he visiting someone abroad or is he working abroad? What is his relationship history? Is he capable of a long term relationship if that's your wish?


If he doesn't have much time to spend with you and it's frustrating for you, why can't you find someone local? LDRs have a far lower risk of survival when it started that way. It's more expensive and the pace of dating isn't normal, which can feel smothering when you're forced to spend more time together (entire weekends) very early on, instead of the normal dating habits of local couples.


Do you have your own independent social life besides dating, like spending time with girlfriends and family and having hobbies/interests that fill your days and nights? If not, I suggest you keep occupied with those things. There are plenty of volunteer activities you can contribute to during the holidays and you can host a holiday gathering yourself and invite friends. You're not exclusive with this guy and can't really expect much from him during the holiday season. Keep your options open with dating others if you're comfortable doing so, as this guy might not be long term material. If there's a huge age gap, there's also a higher risk of incompatibility with life stages that should be considered. Take care.

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Well, I don't know what's going on with him. Could it be that he's married? Or that he's cheating on his girlfriend? That would explain why he has so little time for you. In any event, unmarried 40-year-old guys can get too set in their ways and can be a bit weird, but the bottom line is that you two are just not compatible. You're young. You need someone who's young to take you out and go to movies and dinner and dancing. You don't really need to date some old guy who's 2 hours away and has no time for you. Don't just settle for someone you met online. If you're attractive, like you say, you can start talking to any boy you like and he would probably ask you out. Or you can ask him out if he's shy. You don't really have much of a relationship at the moment.

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