Wildchild82 Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 This is my first post on this forum, and I've read many of the breadcrumb posts and replies, and they're genious. Long and intricate story short. For the past 18 months I was dating what I found out to be a narcsissist, took a while to catch on as Ive never been in this situation, and in that sense I'm not taking a victim role, because in the end I was the one who let him treat me like , subconsiously healing childhood trauma in relation to my mother. Conditional love. You (I) can never win. And he hates himself and projects that on to me. I dated a 3yr old trapped in a 35yr old body, in a sense. A lot of hot and cold. One week he wanted us to find a house together and travel to Asia, the next week he started hanging out at his ex'es house (she lives with four of his other friends, but he didnt mention her living there to start with, just said he was spending time at "guy's name"), got a job and started changing his life for the better, was withholding affection and screaming at me that he needs to take care of himself etc, was supposed to drive me to work but half an hour before yelled again about gas money and he's sick of "being nice" all the time (he owes me several thousand dollars of course), told me to let go and picked up his phone and got on facebook. That was the last time I saw him, I didnt even say bye, just got my stuff and left. And as I'm writing this, the answers reveal themselves, but I'm still going to ask. Perhaps because I need some support. We haven't talked since, and this was almost five weeks ago. This monday he has the nerve to send me a text "hey how are you" followed by a missed call from him within an hour after he sent the breadcrumb text. I didnt know what to do, so i did nothing. The next day my curiosity got the best of me, so I called him back, of course (and luckily) he didnt answer. He called me back two hours later, but I couldn't be bothered. Then today, day 3, i logged on to fb and found that before i tried calling him he had also sent me a message there, saying nothing other than, (get this) "_Yo_"how are you have you found an Apartment. Adding that he completed all his courses and got his license back, ending it with "byyyye". Not responded to that either. So I get he's breadcrumbing me with tty texts, and i've read all about those texts. Now I'm getting to my question: but what about phonecalls? I cant find posts on here regarding breadcrumb phonecalls! Why does the dumper even wanna talk to me on the phone? And anyone know the psychological progression he will be going through by not getting a respons? I know he's reaching out for one of three reasons. 1. Relieve his guilt 2. Ego boost 3. Sex. So don't worry, I wont be responding any time soon. Though i have moments when my curiosity takes over, so I need. You to feed me with your truth that i can reread in these moments. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 If you block and delete you won't have to deal with this. You know the answer to your own question. You've wasted enough time on this guy. Focus on why are you tolerated this garbage for so long. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 A true narcissist does not feel guilt, so that's not a reason for him to reach out(assuming he is, some have narcissistic traits, but are not narcissists). One thing is certain: he's arrogant. Are you able to block his number? If so, do it. Remove him from fb also. Most importantly, take him to court and get your money back!!!! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Don't waste all your valuable time digging up.things on the internet that you can pin on him. Stop trying to decode his behaviour and read his mind. Be done, close the door and spend all that time wasted on yourself. Because, in the end - it doesn't change the outcome Link to comment
DancingFool Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Calls, texts, whatever....it's all breadcrumbs. If he is narcissistic, then frankly he is just looking for a response from you as an ego boost to himself...or maybe he wants to use you for something. Remember, he only cares about himself and sees you as nothing more than a tool for whatever. In some ways you are lower on the totem pole than a wrench in his mind. Why the heck would you even want to respond to this garbage let alone waste so much energy on this I don't know. You already know he is trash. Do yourself a favor, give yourself the gift of peace of mind and just block him on absolutely everything. Don't give him any more of your head space. He doesn't deserve it and you are lucky to be shot of him. Link to comment
TiredOfDating Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 If he's truly a narcissist, and you have no children together, block him completely and never respond, ever. get him out of your life. Link to comment
Wildchild82 Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 Don't waste all your valuable time digging up.things on the internet that you can pin on him. Stop trying to decode his behaviour and read his mind. Be done, close the door and spend all that time wasted on yourself. Because, in the end - it doesn't change the outcome As most people will know, easier said than done.. what you describe is what im working on, though his trying to contact me threw me slightly off course, and reminded me of how crappy he made me feel towards the end. One day at a time.. Link to comment
Wildchild82 Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 I know, and thanks for the reminder! It helps. And as for the fact if he is a real narcissist or not, he definitly has the traits, at least in relation to me. Link to comment
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