adviceplease10 Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 This past year I've been in a long distance-open relationship (as he got a job in another country). I'll never do that again. We agreed to one night stands and if anyone started dating someone they had to tell the other person. This was after 6 years of a more or less long distance (monogamous) relationship, two weeks together two weeks apart type of thing. A little over a month before we were okaying to see each other again he started dating two girls at the same time. One he saw about five times and didn't sleep with but was into. The other he saw frequently, apparently didn't have feelings for her, and slept with her three times. I found out about the first because when I went to visit him had replied to some messages from her. Which upset me. He told me the truth about there and we had a massive argument because he was still in contact with her and technically was dating her while he was telling me that he was completely in love with me, missed me, and wanted to live with me when he finishes up his contract, but we worked through that. I asked if there is anything less that I needed to know and he said that was it. I returned home and received a friend request from a girl that he knows. I asked him who she was and he got nervous and said nobody, just a casual friend I didn't need to add her. The next day I said I knew he wasn't telling me everything so he just informed me a bit more of who she was, but said nothing happened. I chose to believe him. He unfriended her a couple days later...I knew something was off. He finally came back and we started getting back to our old-selves, maybe even better. But I knew something was off. He finally told me that they made out on a number occasions and saw each other quite often. Then the following day he said that there was one more lie that he had to tell me, he slept with her. He told me that he slept with her on our anniversary. After he had sent me a really nice message. The next morning I tried to call him and we talked briefly but he was with her (I didn't know) and said he would be back home soon about an hour or two. He never showed for our call. He spent the day with her. He said he felt guilty, but three days later he slept with her again. And they were still friends on facebook up til the day she added me. He also seemed to be planning to keep the other girl on facebook, until I told him he had to tell her about me and tell her the truth, which took like 3 days before he did it and me breaking down in tears. When we were talking about it he broke down crying and begging me for a second chance. I know the situation was complicated, but the fact that he lied to me on so many occasions (recently, not before) has broken my trust in him. The thing is, up until August he had never acted like that and I had total trust in him. I'm just trying to figure out if I will ever be able to trust him again and how to go about the healing process. I technically broke up with him, but I am still in love with him. Link to comment
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