I'm struggling very hard...

[Peggy95]

I recently found out my boyfriend watches pornography. I am a very insecure person. Yes I am working on my self. He cheated on me a year ago and I am still hurting from that. He knows I don't like pornography and how it makes me feel. Why??? Does he not love me? Find me attractive? I will never look like them.... and I'm sorry. But I wasn't made beautiful or voluptuous. I'm just me.... I try so hard to look good for him and have sex with him. Why does he need this? He denied it over and over till he finally admitted but has no care in the world about how I feel.... I'm so hurt... should I just give up on love and the hopes some one will love me for me????

[limichelle]

You need to ditch this guy asap! Nobody should have an impact on how you are feeling. You deserve better. Youll find somebody who appreciates you. He will end up alone probably. He doesnt sound like good relationship material for anybody.

[firelily]

I recently found out my boyfriend watches pornography. I am a very insecure person. Yes I am working on my self. He cheated on me a year ago and I am still hurting from that. He knows I don't like pornography and how it makes me feel. Why??? Does he not love me? Find me attractive? I will never look like them.... and I'm sorry. But I wasn't made beautiful or voluptuous. I'm just me.... I try so hard to look good for him and have sex with him. Why does he need this? He denied it over and over till he finally admitted but has no care in the world about how I feel.... I'm so hurt... should I just give up on love and the hopes some one will love me for me????

 

1. If someone cheated on you, it's his job to get out of his way to make you feel loved, appreciated and able to trust again. If you don't, that guy didn't redeem himself and doesn't deserve you to hope he will. If he doesn't care that you feel hurt by his actions like this... well you deserve someone caring.

 

2. Pornography for many men is just a habit that's hard to let go, something they were used to do before being in a relationship. They can really prefer you for their sexual partner over porno ladies, but they just watch it for a change/out of bad habit. It's usually nothing personal. My boyfriend used to watch the craziest stuff with bald midgets doing acrobatics. Doesn't mean he would prefer that in real life over what we had.

 

3. You should never, ever "try so hard to look good" for someone to have sex with them. Believe me, if someone is your boyfriend, he finds you attractive, sexy and beautiful. You need to heal your self-esteem a bit, because you shouldn't be thinking about yourself in such a cruel way. Whether you're a big woman or a small one, whether you're wearing G cup or AA cup, you're blond or dark haired - you have a lot to offer to guys. In this relationship you're a keeper. And he's just a cheat who likes to watch porn too much and doesn't care about your feelings. If someone should be trying hard, it's him and not you. You shouldn't try at all for this guy or feel not worth of his affection in any way.

[BoredSamurai]

Every man alive watches pornography every once in a while. Every single one. You should just accept it.

 

Now, the cheating is another thing.

[j.man]

He cheated. You had the option to move forward or dump him. If you can't trust it was a one-time thing, you leave them. Easier said than done, of course, which is why 99.9% of the time, the more sensible decision is to cut your losses. And it's of course not too late to do just that.

 

For the porn, ideally I'd encourage you to learn it's got nothing to do with any lack of attraction in you if for no other reason than you cutting out a good 85% of the male population, but if you insist it's a dealbreaker, then you treat it as just that. You now he watches porn. You either date someone watches porn or you don't. Decision's yours.