Ex-gf. I feel trapped in a toxic cycle.

[SmooveJ1124]

Withdrawal always sucks. Go do something constructive for yourself. Work, hobbies, hit the gym, get whatever chores you've been ignoring done, call on your friends, go to meetup.com and go do some new fun things, meet new people, make new friends. Get busy so you aren't dwelling on your addiction. Stop telling yourself that you need her or miss her. Look up some therapists and make an appointment and go and talk with them. Air your childhood issues and put them to rest once and for all. Sweeping them under the rug isn't working. Get active for your own sake and well being in different ways. You are in control - remember that.

 

Thank you so much. Im at work now and i kinda feel empty? Thought it gets better when more days go by.

[reinventmyself]

Thank you so much. Im at work now and i kinda feel empty? Thought it gets better when more days go by.

 

Remember this when moments get hard. Ask yourself to compare how you might have felt, this time last week.

It's important to notice the improvements, even if they are small. It proves to you that you are moving forward. Never as fast as we might like to, but

it's improvement nonetheless.

[SmooveJ1124]

Remember this when moments get hard. Ask yourself to compare how you might have felt, this time last week.

It's important to notice the improvements, even if they are small. It proves to you that you are moving forward. Never as fast as we might like to, but

it's improvement nonetheless.

 

Good idea. Thank you guys so much for your help. Do you guys think im in a BPD situationship? We been thru this many times. Just the same cycle and i have the same feeling each time. You would think im ise to this.

[DancingFool]

Good idea. Thank you guys so much for your help. Do you guys think im in a BPD situationship? We been thru this many times. Just the same cycle and i have the same feeling each time. You would think im ise to this.

 

Try not to get into the game of diagnosing your ex, because that makes you a victim and therefore powerless and out of control. Instead tell yourself this, "I am not going to speak with her ever again because I want and deserve better." Don't be a victim, get your control of yourself back and by that I mean give yourself full control over yourself to yourself. It's how you make yourself powerful and how making better life and dating decisions easier. It's because YOU decided it shall be so.

 

Doesn't mean that you won't feel down or empty or whatever, but you post here, you talk to friends, you do whatever it takes to kick the feeling so that you don't let her back in. You recognize that with each passing week it does get a little bit better. Be sure you set realistic expectations for yourself in terms of don't expect to feel nothing in just a couple of months. Expect steady progress instead. At the end of the day, either you control your emotions or they control you and if they control you, they'll run your arse off a cliff.