firelily Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 I'm gnna stop him from trying anything on me from now on see how that works out for him 😠 Who cares? How it's gonna work out for HIM? What's important it's how it's gonna work out for YOU, to be without this guy in your life. Will you be happier without him? Or are you happier now, watching him following hundreds of women and talking to him every few weeks? You're not happy with the almost-relationship that you have, yet you're not leaving to start a new life, but to manipulate him to run after you and ask you to be his girlfriend. If he wanted to be more committed to you, he would make that already happen. If he'll come running after you, I guarantee that you'll not be getting more next time than the scraps you are getting now, and he's still gonna check other women on the Instagram. So you have really two choices here: 1) Continue to be a sidekick of a guy who's not considering you his girlfriend and is checking out other women 2) Say goodbye to him and don't turn your back Choice 3 - hope that he will change and suddenly love me and stop checking out women and will be fully committed from now on because he'll realize how much he has to lose - IS NOT AN OPTION. THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN. You will only keep tormenting yourself. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 I agree with firelily. You need to worry a lot more about yourself, OP. You're really undervaluing your own needs and desires, but I think it's because you hope that he will suddenly decide he wants to be with you and that will help you feel better about yourself. It hurts you that he doesn't want more at this time, and understandably so. Nobody wants to feel the way you're feeling now. But you've surrendered essentially all your power to him and let him call all the shots. Hanging around and doing the "Pick me!" Dance isn't working, and at some point, you need to concentrate on you rather than him. I realize you say that you're not doing all of the above, but this thread and the length of this non-relationship indicates quite the opposite. Link to comment
sansa91 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 I agree with firelily. You need to worry a lot more about yourself, OP. You're really undervaluing your own needs and desires, but I think it's because you hope that he will suddenly decide he wants to be with you and that will help you feel better about yourself. It hurts you that he doesn't want more at this time, and understandably so. Nobody wants to feel the way you're feeling now. But you've surrendered essentially all your power to him and let him call all the shots. Hanging around and doing the "Pick me!" Dance isn't working, and at some point, you need to concentrate on you rather than him. I realize you say that you're not doing all of the above, but this thread and the length of this non-relationship indicates quite the opposite. I think about it yes, in terms of actions well if another guy comes along am I going to consider this guy im talking about, hell no, I'm off. Even now I'm talking to another guy. anyway I'm going to see him today, the thread guy and see what's up. Weird timing or what but the last couple of days hes been doing things he hasn't done in a long time i.e ignoring my messages, not responding so quickly, and iv seen him logged onto facebook. As much as everyone would predict that sort of behaviour I havnt seen it in at least a year.but he agreed to meet up so I'll see what the deal is Link to comment
sansa91 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Who cares? How it's gonna work out for HIM? What's important it's how it's gonna work out for YOU, to be without this guy in your life. Will you be happier without him? Or are you happier now, watching him following hundreds of women and talking to him every few weeks? You're not happy with the almost-relationship that you have, yet you're not leaving to start a new life, but to manipulate him to run after you and ask you to be his girlfriend. If he wanted to be more committed to you, he would make that already happen. If he'll come running after you, I guarantee that you'll not be getting more next time than the scraps you are getting now, and he's still gonna check other women on the Instagram. So you have really two choices here: 1) Continue to be a sidekick of a guy who's not considering you his girlfriend and is checking out other women 2) Say goodbye to him and don't turn your back Choice 3 - hope that he will change and suddenly love me and stop checking out women and will be fully committed from now on because he'll realize how much he has to lose - IS NOT AN OPTION. THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN. You will only keep tormenting yourself. Im not trying to manipulate him to run after me. its more because of what he's doing, I don't expect any sort of action from him. If he does run after me this time it wouldn't make any difference. actually all this time it's been the same, I'm sure he's been adding women for some time now yet I didn't notice it before as much as now. whatever we have wasn't necessarily effected, he was still his same bubbly self. I'm sorry but I'm not the type of person who waits around for someone to "love" me, I'm really not that sad. Who says I don't keep my options open. All this time there were other guys who came into my life whilst he was also there and I gave them a fair shot, didn't do anything with them but spoke to them etc. Link to comment
sansa91 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Who cares? How it's gonna work out for HIM? What's important it's how it's gonna work out for YOU, to be without this guy in your life. Will you be happier without him? Or are you happier now, watching him following hundreds of women and talking to him every few weeks? You're not happy with the almost-relationship that you have, yet you're not leaving to start a new life, but to manipulate him to run after you and ask you to be his girlfriend. If he wanted to be more committed to you, he would make that already happen. If he'll come running after you, I guarantee that you'll not be getting more next time than the scraps you are getting now, and he's still gonna check other women on the Instagram. So you have really two choices here: 1) Continue to be a sidekick of a guy who's not considering you his girlfriend and is checking out other women 2) Say goodbye to him and don't turn your back Choice 3 - hope that he will change and suddenly love me and stop checking out women and will be fully committed from now on because he'll realize how much he has to lose - IS NOT AN OPTION. THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN. You will only keep tormenting yourself. the reason why I made this thread is because I thnk apart from these things I get on with him really well as a person. However obviously he maybe doesn't feel the same I duno. when I get along with someone and I generally like their personality I tend to want to keep them around. But obviously if he's not on the same level then I don't want anything to do with him Link to comment
sansa91 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Who cares? How it's gonna work out for HIM? What's important it's how it's gonna work out for YOU, to be without this guy in your life. Will you be happier without him? Or are you happier now, watching him following hundreds of women and talking to him every few weeks? You're not happy with the almost-relationship that you have, yet you're not leaving to start a new life, but to manipulate him to run after you and ask you to be his girlfriend. If he wanted to be more committed to you, he would make that already happen. If he'll come running after you, I guarantee that you'll not be getting more next time than the scraps you are getting now, and he's still gonna check other women on the Instagram. So you have really two choices here: 1) Continue to be a sidekick of a guy who's not considering you his girlfriend and is checking out other women 2) Say goodbye to him and don't turn your back Choice 3 - hope that he will change and suddenly love me and stop checking out women and will be fully committed from now on because he'll realize how much he has to lose - IS NOT AN OPTION. THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN. You will only keep tormenting yourself. so this is the latest, we were meant to meet up today bt he messaged in the afternoon and said he can't make it. so he cancelled, the reason was "he had a shoulder injury.from the gym" hes said stuff like that before yet never cancelled, always getin injured. anyway I got angry and said he either meets me tomorrow or our friendship is over. he then reacted by saying am I on my month and then he said " I don't have time for kids, sort yourself out and then come and talk to me like an adult". I replied saying " if you were a decent adult then maybe I would". he didn't say a thing after that. I jst wanted to give it a shot, by asking to meet up more than usual. someone on another forum told me to try to meet him more than once a week and see how it goes. wwll clesrly nt so well right now. Although yesterday he agreed to seeing me, he said "yeh sure" Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 OP, he is just not interested anymore. Link to comment
sansa91 Posted November 18, 2017 Author Share Posted November 18, 2017 OP, he is just not interested anymore. he asked if we are meeting today (well friday) after I said if he doesn't our friendship will end I ignored.hm though and didn't reply to his messages or didn't meet him Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.