itsallgrand Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Ok but you didn't answer if she supports herself and her kids. Link to comment
Unreasonable Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 She strongly believes that if we do not see everything eye to eye on this topic that we will not be able to spend eternal life together..Where'd she get that idea? The only religion I know that officially teaches eternal marriage is Mormonism. Otherwise, it's till death do you part. Link to comment
Capttrae Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 She's full of crap, Catholicism and Baptist (in south Ga most likley southern baptist) have the same basic belief system. Few different ideals and rituals but not much. One saved by faith the other saved by grace. She says she feels like a failure bc her kids don't want to go to church, whatever, not going to church don't mean anything. All a church is is just a building (and speaking of southern baptist and yes I can say for certian bc I was raised around them) 80% of it is just a social call see who can dress up the best for Sunday morning service. She wants to see a true worship service forget about some man made building go to the woods, the river, or somewhere natural where you can see gods creation and have service there. Good book says as long as there are two or more gathered Gods spirit is present. So I guess what I'm getting at is the differences between you being a Catholic and her being a baptist are so small they shouldn't count for any thing other than y'all agree to go to Mass sometimes and worship service at the baptist church sometimes Link to comment
thealchemist Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I was raised catholic since birth. My wife choose southern Baptist around puberty. There are a lot of differences. Luckily my wife and I both wizened up and think such bureaucratic dogmatic stuff is crap. But according to southern Baptist believe Catholics should go to hell. I never "accepted god into my life" or whatever other stuff they required for their religion because I was Catholic and that isn't how we roll. In my area of the south many of the churches promoted that Catholics are akin to voodoo and santeria. They both have different requirements for the afterlife. So I can see the issue. But I don't understand how big of a deal religion can be when you have been living together out of wedlock for 4 years. She isn't even eligible for a catholic marriage. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I was raised catholic since birth. My wife choose southern Baptist around puberty. There are a lot of differences. Luckily my wife and I both wizened up and think such bureaucratic dogmatic stuff is crap. But according to southern Baptist believe Catholics should go to hell. I never "accepted god into my life" or whatever other stuff they required for their religion because I was Catholic and that isn't how we roll. In my area of the south many of the churches promoted that Catholics are akin to voodoo and santeria. They both have different requirements for the afterlife. So I can see the issue. But I don't understand how big of a deal religion can be when you have been living together out of wedlock for 4 years. She isn't even eligible for a catholic marriage. I agree. A LOT of differences, very critical ones. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 The thing is - there are people from different faiths that marry all the time -- it usually works best when one person is very strong in their faith and the other person is not and is supportive of that person. The main issue here is that she already has children who she wants to grow up in her chosen faith. So she needs a guy that is either her faith or she needs a guy who gives her a wide berth to do so and doesn't interfere with it. He seems to be the latter and he seems to be okay with her choice. But I don't understand how big of a deal religion can be when you have been living together out of wedlock for 4 years. Bingo. That's the issue -- its one thing if she set out to only date and marry someone of her denomination. THat's totally okay for her to do so and her right -- but to suddenly decide he's not marriage material after he has housed and clothed her child for the past 4 1/2 years - that's the issue and i think the issue, as said before is not really about the religion. There is something else going on here that she is not verbalizing and maybe she is afraid to say "i don't want to marry you". If she had agreed to this arrangement and they lived more like roommates - he couldn't stand her kids living in filth and they had more of a chaste relationships - then I could respect this completely that she liked the idea of the companionship but is feelings its not right - but for her to live practically as a "pretend wife" to him with her kids as stepchildren in all but name -- that's where it all comes down to Link to comment
Seraphim Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 The thing is - there are people from different faiths that marry all the time -- it usually works best when one person is very strong in their faith and the other person is not and is supportive of that person. The main issue here is that she already has children who she wants to grow up in her chosen faith. So she needs a guy that is either her faith or she needs a guy who gives her a wide berth to do so and doesn't interfere with it. He seems to be the latter and he seems to be okay with her choice. But I don't understand how big of a deal religion can be when you have been living together out of wedlock for 4 years. Bingo. That's the issue -- its one thing if she set out to only date and marry someone of her denomination. THat's totally okay for her to do so and her right -- but to suddenly decide he's not marriage material after he has housed and clothed her child for the past 4 1/2 years - that's the issue and i think the issue, as said before is not really about the religion. There is something else going on here that she is not verbalizing and maybe she is afraid to say "i don't want to marry you". If she had agreed to this arrangement and they lived more like roommates - he couldn't stand her kids living in filth and they had more of a chaste relationships - then I could respect this completely that she liked the idea of the companionship but is feelings its not right - but for her to live practically as a "pretend wife" to him with her kids as stepchildren in all but name -- that's where it all comes down to Absolutely. If it hasn’t been about religion for four years it probably isn’t now. Link to comment
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