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Feel like I should break up with my GF


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I've been dating someone I met in college for about 6 months now. I am a 21 year old guy and she is 23. She is levelheaded, smart with her money, and someone I share intellectual pursuits with (we are both in graduate school). During the initial "getting to know each other" stages, things seemed to be going very well and she was a lot more mature than a few of my exes, which was a big plus for me.


Now, though, I'm questioning why we are together at all. I love the outdoors, and am very serious about mountain biking, skiing/ski mountaineering, and climbing. Most of my extra money goes towards traveling for these pursuits and my weekends are packed with exciting adventures. My GF doesn't share these passions, even though she always loves to look at pictures from my trips and says she wishes she could do these things too.


Of course, I am still young and I'm not looking to get married or anything yet, but the question of whether the person I am dating is "marriage material" is always in the back of my mind. However, being together for half of the year now has made me start to realize there really isn't a spark here. I care for her, but I don't feel anything special at all, like I have when I can share my passions with my significant other.


She doesn't really have any hobbies of her own, so I can't even try out new hobbies to spend more time with her. I feel like she needs/wants me more than I do towards her, and I wonder in the future if my travels to climb mountains will become a financial burden that she feels cheated on since a good portion of my money is going to something that doesn't benefit her at all, as well as the amount of time I'd be spending away for travels. I've offered to help her get into a few of the sports that she mentioned were cool, but she doesn't seem to want to go through with that so I am just assuming that won't change in the near future.


I know it probably seems ridiculous and shallow to be putting so much importance on my hobbies, but I am very passionate about these things. I feel like the best option for both of us it to end it before things keep going further. Any suggestions?

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You're not compatible so I suggest you DON'T keep her around for filler. I also recommend that you don't date seriously until you're finished school and you know yourself better, where you'll be living, where you'll be working and when you're pursuits aren't as attractive to you as they are right now.


Tell me, are there many women that are into what you're into and actually partake in it? (sans plain ole sking that is) Telling you how "cool" it is and being excited for you is not the same as actually wanting to join you in your passions.

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I know it probably seems ridiculous and shallow to be putting so much importance on my hobbies


Not at all. Your view shows tremendous foresight for your age. It's time for your relationship with her to end.


You only have so many years on this planet. Spend it with someone who excites you. In a world of over 3.5 billion women, you can find it if you look hard enough.

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Have you invited her to join you on any of your excursions? Assuming she's inexperienced, you'd of course be operating at a less challenging level if she were there, but I have to wonder if she might feel a bit left out.


I have, but she doesn't seem to be that interested in joining. I would love to have her along and of course would choose easy excursions, but its just not her thing.


I already knew, but it seems the consensus is that we don't match up that well. Maybe I was hoping for different responses but I think this just confirms how I already feel.

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