AnonymousHell Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 I met a woman 3 years ago. She was single at the time and so was I. We dated, became close friends, made it exclusive (for a short-time) and then decided to end it because she moved over 1,000 miles across the U.S. because she was losing her place and I wasn't in the position to offer more in the hopes she'd stay. Even at that I'm not sure we were even ready for that. So she moved on.. We've been very good friends since then and I've always felt a genuine mutual connection mentally and emotionally between us. We both grew up with similar disadvantages regarding family, mistakes we made, and how we've endured those times. This obviously is what connected us to begin with.. Well, now that you know how we feel about each other let's get to the issue I'm dealing with at hand... We haven't kept in touch too much as of late. It must have been 5-6 months since I heard from her (until a few days ago). In my eyes this wasn't a big deal because I didn't think I had feelings for her still and figured she was reaching out to catch up or ask for life advice (which I usually give myself, yet ironically I'm here), especially since she's a married woman and all. I thought life was treating her good... Apparently her husband (who she has only been married to for like 9 months I think) has a bad drug addiction that lead to him being incarcerated 4 times within a 9 month period. She is emotionally abused, stuck living with him and his parents, and can't even go to her own family over there because they also deal with drug addictions, and to make matters worse they steal her hard-earned money through manipulation, and her living in this circle of depression and anxiety is the unfortunate result of those currently around her. She can't escape... Now that you have some background on her personal situation and how I feel about her, maybe you'll be able to put yourself in my shoes here. She messaged me a few days ago telling me that she was moving back (where I am).. We've been talking on the phone the past few days and I feel something building up between us again, but this time it is obviously different. She's married but says he wants nothing to do with her. She admitted to me that before the marriage happened she cheated on him. At that time he was in jail, and presumably with the mindset of not wanting to lose her, so even though she f***ed up he still asked her the big question. Now that they have their differences he has destroyed her name and reputation by blasting it to everyone in their own little world that she's basically just a 'hoe'.. I don't feel it's my place to get involved there, but I can recognize why she did what she did (he neglected her and was emotionally abusive and controlling). Although there is NO excuse for cheating I have personally seen what an unrequited relationship can do to someone. This was an imperfect relationship and neither person was responsible or sensible enough to work through it. I don't feel like they want to make it work as much as they want to hold up their pride, essentially. My fear is that she's looking for a way out and I am an easy target. She knows how I feel and can easily manipulate me to get what she wants. But I tried to think... What could she want??? A friend!? I'm hoping so... I've always been a friend first for her and I would hate to ruin that. She wants me to meet her at the airport in 2 days. When on the phone she constantly seeks reassurance I'll be there and doesn't believe things will be okay; because she'll be making the move with around $2,000 and what she's got in her duffel bags. Just when I thought she could be using me, she wanted me to book a room for her online since her apartment won't be ready until the next day. She was comfortable enough to give me her personal banking info over the phone, which made me feel like a D**k for thinking she may be taking advantage of my kindness. Especially since we haven't talked in forever and last she knew me I had a gambling addiction that was spiraling downward quick. I don't know guys...and girls!... It gets worse! She texted me tonight randomly, and said she was scared and didn't want to be alone. I opened up a little and basically told her she'll be fine, I'll be in her corner, and not to stress, etc.. etc.. She responded with "I love you".... I didn't reply right away because I was scared... I ended up saying "at least someone still does I love you too *her name*"... I do love her, but I'm hoping this was more of an 'I love you' like you'd say to a friend when they're there for you throughout a tough situation. can I be IN love with her? Is it wrong because she's married? Wait!! it gets worse!!! ... She also asked me to spend the night with her in her hotel room when she arrives in 2 days. She says because she doesn't want to be alone. Can you believe this? This sounds too good to be true, and mama always said.. when it sounds too good it most likely is. Could this be a least likely incident occurring in my waking life? One I will regret. Or maybe I'm over-thinking because I've been single for 3 years since she left. Maybe I need to just keep being that good friend, and take control of this relationship by building a foundation first and taking it slow.. Sheesh, I dunno... I do love her. I would love for there to be a romantic future. ...... .. . .... ... The last thing I told her was that she needed to trust me completely (in the fact that I'd be at the airport for her). Her response was "I love you". Maybe I should heed my own advice and trust her too? ... Now she's got ME scared. Oh no, what have I done? What is your perspective on this ordeal? Have you been through this? Know someone who has? I'd like to see what people think here... Thanks for your thoughts in advance! AnonymousHell Link to comment
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