Broke up with my boyfriend, I want him back and we still live together.

[Anxiousannie]

After a very heated argument, I broke up with my boyfriend of a year. I've done this a couple times before but we always get back together after a good nights sleep. This time he told me it was the final straw and that he couldn't be with someone who left him all the time. I went somewhere else to live for a few days, got some therapy and came back. I begged him to give me another chance as I still love him with all my heart. He told me to move back in and prove I could be normal for two weeks and then he would decide. I proceeded to shower him with affection and unfortunately constant questioning about his decision. Finally he told me that he is way too stressed by me and he can't do it anymore. We need to keep living together for financial reasons but he told me I need to just be a respectful roommate and not act like we are still together. He told me I could try to do relationship like things when it's just us, but not to be disappointed if he isn't down. He said he needs space and to destress. He also says he does still love me. Next week we are going to see a couples therapist, but he asked me "why should I see a therapist with you when I don't want to be with you anymore?" That hurt me a huge amount but I feel like we need to hash something's out. He is being very sullen and cold to me. It hurts me, but I still love him so much and wish I didn't break up with him. Please tell me how I can get him back

[tattoobunnie]

Considering you break up with him a few times, he's given you plenty of chances.

 

Learn to communicate, learn to give people the benefit of a doubt, learn to love yourself.

 

And stick to you guns. If you keep breaking up with him, then there is something to it. You two aren't right for eachother.

[HeartGoesOn]

Rather than go through the agony of living together after a breakup, can you change your living arrangements to finding a roommate?

 

Either way, be careful not to downgrade to FWBs, as that would do more emotional damage, along with your self respect going down the drain.

[j.man]

What was the heated argument over?

 

Regardless, there's nothing you can do. He's made up his mind. I'd explore the possibility of someone taking over your name on the lease so that you can better recover.

[willdation]

I bet that his reaction to break up for good is just as heated as your argument you had with him...just give him complete space for a bit...and when you are ready to try super hard to communicate more instead of breaking up then id say you would have a shot at making it work...

[Starlight925]

You still have to live together? For how much longer? Yikes.

 

Best thing you could do would be to move out and give each other some space. Miss each other a bit.

 

And continue your therapy, so you can work on your fight-or-flight response.

[thorough]

I can understand why he is behaving that way, you are putting through a rollercoaster of emotions, you believe he has put up w/heartbreak over and over. This relationship is a dysfunctional one and if he gets back together, you will break up w/him again.