Should I move back home?

[alexmiler]

My ex and I dated for 3 years, and we were friends for a year before that. We were making plans to move in together this year, and talked about getting married in the near future. In April he broke up with me out of no where, and wouldn’t tell me why. I asked him if it had to do with a specific girl that he worked with who told him she liked him earlier in the year, and he said no. Eventually he told me that it was because he wasn’t happy with himself, and just needed some time alone to figure things out (we both suffer from depression). In June I told him that if our relationship was really over, at the end of August I was going to move out of state. I couldn’t handle being so close to him but not being with him. I told him that if he didn’t want me to go, I would’t, but he never said anything. He knew why I was leaving, he knew that I was scared and it wasn’t some dream I had that he would be holding me back from if I didn’t go. We continued to talk about once a week from May-August, and would occasionally hook up. Two weeks before I was supposed to move, he told me he wanted me to stay, but at that point it was too late. We hung out the last 3 nights I was at home, and even while I was driving across the country we continued to talk a little bit.

 

Two weeks after I left he went on vacation to Hawaii with the girl I mentioned earlier and her family. As soon as I found that out it was like the initial break up pain all over again, but even worse. In our 3 year relationship we never got to go on vacation because he always said he couldn’t afford it, which I was fine with, but then we went out and did this with her as soon as I was gone. For all I know he was talking to her the entire time he was still talking to me. After I saw the pictures I asked him if they were dating, and he never replied to me. We haven’t talked since, but I see them posting pictures of each other all over social media, so I know they’re together.

 

I moved away to help myself get better, but I’ve been here for a few months now and I only feel worse. I want to move back home but I don’t know if it’s the right decision. Where I am living now I have a good job, but I don’t necessarily like it. The experience I’m getting will really help me out in the future, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to find this same job if I move home, but I’m really unhappy living here. I don’t really have any friends here, so I don’t have anyone to talk to about this, but I also don’t really have friends at home either. I’m horrible at making friends, and the few that I had stopped talking to me when me and my ex broke up. My family is back home, we don’t really get along but it’s still something.

 

I’m also afraid that if I move home I won’t be able to stop hoping that my ex will want to get back together, even though I know theres not much of a chance of that.

 

I just don’t know what to do, and I’d like to hear other peoples unbiased opinions on my situation.

[DanZee]

Well, I'll tell you, social media is the root cause of so much unhappiness these days because people keep going to their ex's pages or even continue texting them when the relationship is over. The whole idea of moving across country is to get away from the whole thing, but you keep chatting and checking. You will never heal and you moved to start over. There was nothing holding you back home. But you refuse to give him up.

 

You've got to come to grips with the fact that he dumped you and he likes this other girl better. Sorry. It happens. I've been dumped too, and it really, really hurts. In college, I got dumped but I continued to see this girl almost every day because my student activities office was next to her student activities office. Sheer torture! But it got better when I graduated and didn't see her any more.

 

And let me tell you, the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. Are there any girls at work you can make friends with? Tell them you're new in town and see if they would show you the sights? Or you could hang around at a local bar or cafe just to be seen. Sometimes men will approach someone they see a lot and start up a conversation. You have to be seen to make friends.

 

You can do this! It's a new start! Stop looking at your ex's Facebook or Instagram pages and make contact with people! Don't be afraid to ask someone if they know of someone who's single. Put yourself out there.

[Carus]

You don't have to block your ex on FB, but I highly recommend Unfollowing them.

 

And yes, you will keep checking his wall...until you don't.

 

Grief is a horrible thing and I suffer greatly at the moment.

 

But it does ease up over time.

 

Be Strong

Carus*

[dave4443]

Don't pay attention how Facebook looks. Last time I looked my ex looked happy as hell enjoying her new life but I ran into some of her family that I was close with and they say it's not the case and they're worried about her.

 

People only post their best on Facebook these two could be miserable for all you know, my best mates ex posted happy pics of them all the time and my god they despised each other

 

Try to stay away from Facebook it really does help the out of sight out of mind thing

[abitbroken]

I would spend some time in your job so you are not job hopping and look for a job back home when you have the experience you need. proof positive that moving often solves little