England1984 Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I split up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago, trust had gone on her behalf and decided to end it with me after 2 years together. I tried NC and lasted a week, I found out she had been on a date and messaged her. I then lasted another week and text her again. I'm now at a loose end and don't know what to do. I genuinely love her and want her back. But don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Why didn't she trust you anymore? If anything, broken trust is what destroyed the relationship, not some text messages after she'd already left. What did you say in your messages? Link to comment
England1984 Posted October 23, 2017 Author Share Posted October 23, 2017 I kissed another girl at the start of the relationship stupidly and I regretted it daily. She got back with me but it was always on her mind she then believed I was messaging another girl which I wasn't but told me she wanted me to leave her alone. I begged and begged for her back telling her I love her etc. Made myself look very needy. She told me she isn't ready to talk to me and we still haven't seen each other after 3 weeks. She seems to of just switched all her feelings off. We was good together and have lots of amazing memeroies together. The trust was the reason we split up but has my begging ruined any chance I had of getting her back? Link to comment
DimCrayola Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Pleading with someone certainly doesn't help to ease the pressure. If she said she forgiven you and then realized she couldn't that makes for a terrible relationship. Sometimes we, as humans, want to forgive but then realize that he pain that we are trying to forgive never went away and then we act out...we hold grudges or resentment. Forgiving isn's as easy as just making a choice it is a verb that takes action and work. Giver her space - true space. And maybe with time things can start anew. Link to comment
DimCrayola Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 People will almost always come back to you. If they are good, don’t be afraid to welcome them back with open arms. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Begging her wouldn't have helped your cause, no. But if she's truly done with you, it wouldn't really have done further damage either. Link to comment
England1984 Posted October 23, 2017 Author Share Posted October 23, 2017 I know I messed up big time and looks like I've lost the most important thing in my life. Cutting all contact is so hard, but it's what she wants. I'm struggling with it all. She did love me and we had an amazing time together. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I kissed another girl at the start of the relationship stupidly and I regretted it daily. She got back with me but it was always on her mind she then believed I was messaging another girl which I wasn't but told me she wanted me to leave her alone. I begged and begged for her back telling her I love her etc. Made myself look very needy. She told me she isn't ready to talk to me and we still haven't seen each other after 3 weeks. She seems to of just switched all her feelings off. We was good together and have lots of amazing memeroies together. The trust was the reason we split up but has my begging ruined any chance I had of getting her back? Kissed another girl at the start of the relationship, yet you were together two years! Seems like a lame excuse on her part. Without trust, there isn't much worth fighting for here. You cannot make her trust you. She knows how you feel about her. Let her reach out to you if she chooses. She can't miss you if you are contacting her. Link to comment
England1984 Posted October 24, 2017 Author Share Posted October 24, 2017 The family really like me and we still talk, do I need to cut contact with all? It's got me really down and really overthinking, always thinking she is out on dates or meeting a new guy. It's really got me down. Link to comment
No1 Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 There is nothing you can do right now. If you say the trust in you is gone, there is no magic word, song, poem, pleading, saying, lyric or gesture that can make her gain your trust instantly. She has not forgiven you and that is where the problem is. Lets say you guilted her into coming back, or you convince her to come back and she has yet to forgive you. You would not be in any better position. She would question everything you do or did. So you must wait and see if she forgives you and this has to do this on her own. Link to comment
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